Edge of the World

An Ode to My Mother

2005-10-19T07:39:00.000+08:00

......

I cry when I think of mom,
Nags everyday when I didn’t do my chores;
I was such a lazy dog back then,
I know she’s worried I’ll grow up bone-idle

I cry when I think of mom,
Spanked me so hard when she apprehended my first smoke;
I wasn’t thinking… I was a big dickhead then,
I know she did that out of concern

I cry when I think of mom,
Kept mum after seeing my college card with only two-passed grades;
I was so lost and irresponsible, still young and wild,
I know she trusted me I could recuperate

I cry when I think of mom,
Weeps in the corner, worried how she'd pay the bulk of school bills;
We were three siblings, synchronously attending the university,
I know she’d done everything she can to make ends meet

I cry when I think of mom,
Takes good care of me when I am sick;
I feel her heavy heart, absorbs to ease the pain,
She just takes care of anything

I cry when I think of mom,
Kissed my cheek when I introduced my first girlfriend;
Could it be, it proved I don’t mess around?
I know she was happy for me

I cry when I think of mom,
Hid her tears on my wedding day;
To end up all my miseries and wicked ways,
I know she was certain I’ll be in good hands

I cry when I think of mom,
Phones us everyday just to check how we’re doing;
Until now she worries about everything,
I know she misses her kids on her side...we are her babies

I smile when I think of mom,
To this great occasion, I’d like to speak my heart;
A stupendous mother, a great lady so strong and confident,
I love you everyday, God blesses you on your Birthday...

My Perfect Day

2005-10-14T15:14:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today...yes, I know, I am getting older or shall we say advanced in the course of existence. Mas magandang pakinggan. Anyone wants to guess my age?!

Thoroughfare of Dreams

2005-10-04T10:27:00.000+08:00

I ‘ve known Mardk for quite sometime in the blogsphere and I kinda compliment him for the way he expresses himself. No fuzziness in his writing, straightforward and from what I read, puts music as one of his emotion of regard. Am I right, bro?...hehehe. But for the first time…I must disagree with you, I don’t feel I am a veteran with metal riffs. Magagalit nyan si namayapang "Dimebag" Darrel, one of the respected axeman in the scene. But thanks for the mention, bro…nabigla ako sa post mo at sa pangalan ko.

I’ve been playing the guitar for quite a while…started caressing the frets at the age of twelve or thirteen (if my memory serves me right) with an original Cebu acoustic brought home by my bisayang uncle. The first song that I first tried was the “Ako’y Isang Pinoy” by apo Florante with a D-A-G-A perpetual chords. I was so hooked on folk and country songs then with the likes of Peter,Paul & Mary, Bob Dylan, Jackson Browne, Joni Mitchell, CSNY…a lot of them. And I was hooked on guitars that I wouldn’t miss a practice for a day.

Second year high school when my dad bought me my first album…a KISS “Alive II” double live album and that was the start on my metal addiction per se (si daddy kasi, siguro nakita niya kahiligan ko)…sinundot pa nya ng ibili nya ako ng second-hand na electric guitar…it was the time of playing like there was never tomorrow. Everyone in the house hated me for the dissonance but that was what I like…and I’ve dreamt of being a rockstar…hahaha, ambisyosong pagong si metal. But I was a kid then. Prior to college, i’ve tried getting an exam for the UP with a dream of taking up the conservatory of music pero di kaya ng utak, bagsak sa entrance and that was my first frustration. It ended me taking up engineering in Baguio but that did not stop and frustrate me with my guitars…I’ve considered music as my life then…and heavy metal at that time was prospering and propagated by Sabbath, Priest, Whitesnake, Dokken, Maiden and the like…the era of sex, drugs and rock & roll which fuelled the young and the restless, the era of free spirit and crossing a lot borderlines. Pinoy Rock and Rhythm dominated the air thru the DzRJ 810 with Howlin Dave, Stoney Burke and others at the captain's cockpit...some of the legends Maria Kapra, Chikoy Pura's The Jerks, Anakbayan's late great progressive drummer, Edmund "Bosyo" Fortuno were sending shivers to the worried mothers of the rebellious spirits of their sons and daughters.

Up to now, as much as possible I practice with a minimum of 3 hours daily…it would complete my day. I do a lot of sweep picking, appregios with Down Up Down Down, etc, low to high, over and over just to improve the speed and practice the pinky or the small finger in a 120-bpm funky-fusion metronome. Bro…try to learn the licks in small chunks. Try to break up what you’re learning in small pieces. You’ll discover that you’ll get a lot farther that way and it is easier to connect many little bits into a bigger piece than to swallow a big piece all at once. Practice is the key…what is important is to find a healthy balance of discipline and the desire to play.

Metallica…uhhmmm, I once loved them but when they started to become commercialized...completely gone are the heavy riffs and speed demon guitar solos, replaced by short, simple, catchy little ditties, I started shying away…Sandman was the last song I liked. Blind Guardian, Iced Earth and Edguy are some of the awesome bands I like…the underrated, underground masters.

Bro, one thing I could share: Even though we see guitar as our life’s focal point, have fun with it and try to experience the music as something beautiful without weighing it down with unnecessary seriousness. Music is fun. You are one of the best, bro!

The Deepest Fear

2005-10-01T10:27:00.000+08:00

I had another scare of my life yesterday night...right after dinner, namilipit sa sakit ng tiyan ang anim na taon kung bunso. He can't stand straight and had to curl his body, maybe to ease his pain. I had to rush him to the hospital...buti na lang naisipan ko pang makapagpalit ng shorts, nakapantulog na rin ka shorts kasi ako nun (erotic kasi dating ng short shorts). Taranta rin ako sa mga ganung sitwasyun.

I drove the car like Schumacher's Ferrari and in a few minutes nasa ospital na kami. I was so damn worried and confused....i hate seeing any of my family taken to a place for the sick. Ewan, I really hate hospitals (but not doctors, of course). One anecdote i had: My wife had a miscarriage on her first pregnancy, she had a spotting and i had to rush her to a hospital. She was checked by the OB and declaired: " kailangan na nating i-raspa". I asked my mother-in-law the meaning of raspa (it was the first time i heard of that word) and i was shocked to hear it was a forced abortion...nakunan pala asawa ko. And i collapsed right in front of the doctor...namutla ako at hinimatay. Natatawa ang ibang pasyente, paano, imbes na misis ko ang asikasuhin para sa operasyon, eto ako't nakahiga sa hospital, iniintindi ng nurse with matching ammonia to wake my senses. Lumakas lang ang loob ko ng sinabi ng misis ko na ok lang...kaya nya at huwag mag-alala.

Going back to my son...funny thing is, pagdating sa hospital, biglang tumayo at sinabing "ok na ako, nawala na sakit...uwi na tayo". I felt a big relief, i thought it was appendicitis or other things (tinatamaan ba ang bata sa sakit na ganito?) but he was still checked by the doctor and found nothing. Yun pala, nung hapon, siniko siya ng kanyang kalaro. Siguro me nasaktan sa internals nya. But he's ok..so much so, i would also be ok. I get sick when somebody i love is sick, ewan. And i get some shivers each time i step in a hospital.

I would always pray for the health of my family, diyan ako mahina pag me isa sa kanila me sakit.

Esteem Friend

2005-09-23T12:45:00.000+08:00

I've been away for more than a week. I have to rush to Baguio City to be with my best friend Dinky who lives there, the guy who borrowed my first cheap electric Fender guitar, didn't mind returning it and have no intentions of giving it back to me. I don't mind...he's the best of my best friends.

He has undergone an operation, tinanggal ang appendix, a small pouch-like connected with the intestine at punong-puno na yata ng impurities sa kaiinom ng alak at kakakain ng tripilla ng manok. Mahilig kasing dumaan yun sa barbekyuhan at bumili ng inihaw na tripilla. His family is out of the country and he is home alone...i have to be with him and take care of his needs...tigapakain, tigakamot ng likod, tigahugas ng pwet, tigakuwento, tigabili ng gamot. Naging tigasing alalay tuloy ako ng dakila kong kaibigan.

I don't mind...i felt it was my obligation to do this specially in time of needs or bad times, could be for the family or friends. I could sacrifice my week earnings for them, and i won't allow friendship stops...this is the time to show you care and your presence means a lot. You can't make bad stuff go away, but you can free up a person's time so that he can deal with the crisis.

Now, he can manage and he is ok, he'll live (mahirap yun, lapit na kasi sa bituka) and I have to go back to my work, galit na ang boss ko. But one thing i can share is... that friendship is not words but meanings. And drama ko pero totoo yun!

Me and my Kimchi

2005-09-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

How I love to feast my meal with my Kimchi...When I had a chance to have a trip to Korea way back 1996, I was in love with this traditional spicy and fiery, yet earthy and cool salad. And eversince...life for is nothing without Kimchi. Dare?!

Would you know that in recent years, kimchi has received the blessing of science for its rich dietary value. Researchers have found that kimchi contains a surprisingly large amount of vitamin C and carotene, as well as substantial amounts of protein, fats, carbohydrates, calcium, and vitamins? Dare?!

Across the Plains

2005-09-05T10:53:00.000+08:00

I have promised myself that when my feasibility study is done, i am going to reward mysef, take a break, get out from the headaches of work and go for a vacation...which i did last week. Finally!

The whole family packed their respective bags, throw these in the car trunk and went straight north....the Pangasinan region. I missed my Mom & Dad, my nephews, my sister who had just arrived from UK, my old dogs, our old house. I miss the Ilocano-speaking folks, the dinendeng, papaitan, tupig and i miss the country air.

There were no time wasted...i had a chance to go to Bunuan, Dagupan City for a taste of the best grilled bangus dipped in bagoong, the famous Silverio's which was fondly called Dawel Restaurant way back then...a restaurant in the middle of the fish ponds. This is where Mom and Dad usually bring us when we were kids. The place was a bit modern now with a band playing while having your sumptuos meal...still the same good old seafoods.

After a good dinner, me and my cousins went to this ala-Kampo night out...the "Warehouse" where we had some beer while banging our heads with the Alamid band and some other underrated groups..not too bad. It was a night that rules when nobody watches with evil designs. Mostly teens flooded the club, gyrating with much gusto when a band delivers a hip-hop piece complete with the high five-finger-sign gesture. But that didn't even bother me...i am no hip-hop buff but i can translate. Kalabaw lang ang tumatanda, aba.

A visit to Baguio was the next maneuver...it was the whole family, and the kids really enjoyed the sights...complete with the fog, a mist approaching so nearly to fine rain. The same old parks but fair enough, those pine trees soothe the soul and compensate everything. My wife had a chance to buy all her pasalubongs...walis tambo, the brittle, the strawberry jams. And yes, we had a chance to go by La Trinidad's strawberry fields...isa sa tambayan ko nung nag-aaral pa ako. I really missed Baguio...i spent half of my life in this city.

And finally, our visit to the miraculous Lady of Manaoag...the shrine is so serene, full of spirits and blessings. Everytime i have my vacation, i ascertain a visit at the site for a prayer of thanksgiving and blessings. One part of my life when i was sick, this is where i sought refuge...a daily talk with our Lady brings comfort and assurance.

I had a heavy heart coming back here in Rizal...it would again take sometime for my next vacation. But i am blessed...i still have a lot of chances of coming back to where my roots are, a place where life is simple, full of vigor...yet, there is so much to see and do, you'll want to come back time and time again. A life away from the frenetic pace of life in the city. Oh well, there is always a time to look back.

Nine Digits of the Future

2005-08-18T12:39:00.000+08:00

And i'm back...hah. After months of isolation, i am coming out of my cage and back to the real world. The job's almost done and i am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel...ang drama ko!

If my memory serves me right, it was almost four months that i haven't been active in the blogging sphere. I take a peek once in a while on some friends' blogs if i had the chance...kaka-miss din kasi, di ko matiis. I was given by the company a very important assignment which i think will be one of the most important projects next year. I had to lead a team to conduct a feasibility study on the revamping of the plant's Process Control System (or commonly termed as Digital Control System, DCS). The plant's automation network has to be replaced with a reliable system which would increase the availability of production workflows. It is like changing the brain or the core of operation...ganun kahaga ang study and would you believe, the project would cost a whooping 100 million pesos, 'tangna...tirik na mata ko, di pa nakakahawak ng ganun kalaking pera?

The study was really hard, mabusisi at muntik-muntikan rin akong sumuko, i even bring my work at home para walang sayang na oras. The team had to follow the matrix of responsibilities because we are committed to finish it as scheduled with precision. Every details have to be in the tender document and made sure nothing is missed out. During reviews, nagtatalo-talo pa kami sa grupo..."dapat ganito, dapat ganun", each one has his piece, but at the end, everything is resolved. I think that was healthy. Naawa pa ako minsan sa isang cadet engineer na naisama ko sa grupo...lagi ko kasing napapagalitan pag nabubugnot na talaga ako...batang-bata kasi at medyo pogi kaya sa kanya ko na lang binubuhos and inis. But i see to it naman na bago kami maghiwalay, nakaakbay na ako sa kanya at sinasabi kong "Good work". Siguro sinasabi nya sa sarili niyang "Good workin mo mukha mo"...hehehe.

I have a lot to say (kabaliktaran yun, in fact, ala na talaga ako masabi), but i think i'll just do it on the next post. What is good is...."IM BACK!" and i miss all of you, dudes. \m/

Me and Dark and You

2005-08-13T20:48:00.000+08:00

I am coming home...!

Sharpening The Iron

2005-05-01T06:44:00.000+08:00

I am on night shift today roving around the plant to monitor 15 contractors doing their big projects ensuring that they are executing the work in standard procedures as well as in the safest manner. Our plant is now on a three-week shutdown for the annual major maintenance. This is the most tiring time of the year since you have to monitor the scheduled activities making it sure that the the target completion date is on the right track. Planning is very crucial...the committed target date must be met without any accident, else the plant's credibility and reliability is compromised.

But this is what intend to blog...medyo nagkaroon lang ako ng time makapag-post habang nagpapahinga galing sa pag-iikot. Just yesterday I had my free time (8 pm til 8 am the next day kasi time ng shift)to attend to my 11-year old daughter's graduation on her swimming lessons here at the Southland Aqua Gems at Antipolo. Dami palang kids na nag-enroll at nakatutuwa. You could even see 2-year old tots having their lessons. Yung bunso kung lalake duwag. Pina-enroll ng nanay nya pero noong first day, dinala ng instructor sa malalim at duon nag-iiyak...natakot. Nagsabi at nagbanta pa na susuka raw sya sa pool pag di siya inalis doon (nanakot pa!). Mahilig sa tubig pero ayaw sa malaim...mana sa akin. So, di na namin pinilit at pinatuloy, maybe next year.

Prior to the distribution of the certificates, the swimming coaches organized an exhibition...karera ng mga bata. And i was in awe seeing my daughter swim very profesionally...ang bilis sa freestyle and it varies with other styles such as breaststroke, butterfly, etc. Syempre magyayabang na ako, panalo sa competition yung dalagita ko. Maligayang-maligaya ako dun sa sulok habang nanunuod...a proud father at that considering na di ako marunong lumangoy. Sa wakas, me magsa-save na rin sa akin kung sakaling ako'y lumubog pag nagsu-swimming.

After the handing of certificates, the swimming head coach approached me and handed me my daughter's award..."Most Outstanding Swimmer" and informed me that they'll continue to train her for a competition somewhere in Manila before this month ends. My daughter asked me, "Pa please let me, gusto ko sumali sa competition. Sino ba naman ako para tumanggi...i'll have to support her interest. I know it would really build her cofidence.

While we were driving home, i had this un-ending smile on my lips...i am a proud father and i prayed thanking the Lord...for my kids and family.

Keeping the Promises

2005-04-23T21:48:00.000+08:00

I brought my wife and kids at the mall for some walk last Sunday. Matagal-tagal na rin akong di nagagawi doon. Let's face it, life has been very hard these days and weekly rolling around the mall wouldn't be that practical. Maski wala kang bibilhin, you would still spend some for the food & gasoline, kaya tama na yung paminsan-minsan. At least quality-wise, ok yung pasyal.

While we were roving around, admiring some stuff, my little son exclaimed, "You said then you'll buy me anything if i get good grades". It was also seconded by my eldest daughter. I was drawn back when i heard these words, because I remembered that I had promised that I’d buy then anything they want if they'll make good in school (syempre yung kaya ng budget). I began to give excuses concerning why we needed to go home. They would have none of it. My wife's just smiling at the corner.

So we turned around and went straight to the Toy Kingdom. Tingin dito, pili doon. My son had this pedaled toy cart while the girl wanted an electric organ plus enroll and continue her swimming lessons...and the winner is, syempre sila. Sus, butas na naman ang bulsa ko...di na ako makabili ng pamalit sa butas kong brief.

After that, we got home but there was some good things about the walk in the mall...I kept my words and it is something that i would always want them to count on. Ang mga bata talaga...ang talas ng memorya lalo na sa mga ipinangako. Pag nakarinig sila ng ganun, nai-aassume na nila na mangyayari iyon at hinding-hindi makakalimutan. Kaya pag may maipangako sa mga bata, kailangan na tuparin ito at huwag na huwag mangangako ng hindi kayang tuparin...it would hurt their feelings and would begin losing their trust in you.

Anyway, they kept their promises, too...they've shown me their good grades.

Salamat Po Sa Pamana

2005-04-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

Goodbye, Your Holiness!

The Spirit Carries On

2005-03-28T22:28:00.000+08:00

Sinasabi ko na nga ba eh, ang trabaho nakakasira ng blogging. Matagal akong di naka-update dito. Mula ng nalipat ako ng ibang departamento dito sa trabaho, parang kapos ako palagi sa oras, panay tambak pa ng boss ko ng trabaho. Pagdating sa bahay tuloy pa rin sa aking gawa, mahirap mabuntunan ng trabaho. Mabuti na lang dumating itong Semana Santa, yung apat na araw na walang pasok, napunan ko at natapos ko rito sa bahay ang mga trabahong di matapos-tapos. Mahirap yung kasabihan na "Kung wala ka time mag-relax at puro ka na lang gawa...ibig sabihin ay wala kang trabahong natatapos". Tama nga naman, may oras ka ngang mag-relax kapag lahat ng obligasyon ay tapos.

Eto, nakasilip ako ng pagkakataon na mabisita ang aking Blog at nakapag-update, medyo nakakabato lang ang kwento ko ngayon...mukhang malapit na ring langawin itong site.

1. Natapos ko ng gawin ang "Individual Development Plan" ng aking mga tao. Ito yung training at developement ng bawa't isa. Aalamin ang kalakasan at kahinaan ng mga individual at dito mo ibabase ang pahubog ng isang empleyado para sa kinabukasan ng kanyang propesyon. Isa sa pinakamahalagang aspeto sa tagumpay ng negosyo ay ang pag-invest o pamumuhunan sa paghubog sa "technical skills" ng isang tao at palakasin ang kanyang mga potentials. Kapag highly-technical at competent ang kalipunan ng isang kompanya, garantisado ang tagumpay ng kalakal o negosyo.

2. Medyo maganda at relax na ako sa relasyon ko sa aking bagong grupo. Bilang namumuno, obligasyon kong mapalapit sa kanilang kalooban at alamin lahat ng concerns. One-on-one, nakausap ko sila at nagsabi naman sila ng kanilang mga nasa loobin.

3. Kagagaling ko lang sa Bulacan, isa sa mga "sister company" at nagdaos ako ng training sa isang grupo doon. Ito yung tinatawag na "Apollo Root Cause Analysis"...isang mabisang tool na magagamit para sa pagsusuri at pagtuklas sa ugat ng isang problema. Ito ay isinasagawa para makagawa ng mabibisang lunas o action plans at maiwasan ang pag-ulit nito. Sa katapusan, gagawin ko rin ito rito sa kompanya dito sa Rizal, sa isang linggo, lilipad ako sa Iligan at sa kalagitnaan ng Abril, sa Batangas Plant naman.

4. Nagkaroon di ako ng pagkakataon na makapag-prosisyon nitong Mahal na Araw. Humingi ng kapatawaran sa mga pagkukulang at kasalanan nagawa. Salamat naman at di ako umusok ng magbendisyon ng agua de bendita ng pari...hehehe. Medyo malayo-layo din ang aming nilakad, pero nakakawalang pagod rin dahil bukod sa isang paraan ito ng pagsasakripisyo, kasama ko sa paggunita ng mahal na araw ang aking pamilya.

5. Panghuli, bago magsemana, nagkaroon kami ng gig ng aking banda sa kaarawan ng isang kaibigan. Ito na yun pinaghandaan ng grupo. Maski kapos sa ensayo at medyo kinakalawang na kami, nakaraos din at nasiyahan ang mga dumalo.

Salamat nga pala sa mga kaibigan na kahit kapos sa oras at busy sa mga gawain ay nakadadalaw pa rin dito sa aking blogsite. Paumanhin rin sa inyo at medyo madalang rin ang dalaw ko sa sites ninyo...pagluwag-luwag, nariyan na lang ako't magbabasa sa inyong mga kuwento. Hanggang sa muli...makakalaya rin ako sa santambak na trabaho...lapit na...

The Euphoric Sense

2005-03-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

Today marked the start of my appoinment as the new head of a department. I have assumed the position as the Methods Manager for the Preventive and Predictive Maintenance Department...a section wherein it functions to provide an efficient and effective Maintenance Program to improve the plant reliability and reduce the maintenance cost.

I had a heavy heart this morning bidding goodbye to my Automation group which i had been working everyday for the past 16 years. Within that long span, a friendship was developed amongst us, respect with each was upheld at a very high level...we had been friends all throughout.

I met my new team today, i was introduced by the division manager and i delivered a very short speech which started like this: "the system that has been laid out and used in this department are functioning well, i have no plans of altering them rather expect some rooms for improvement. i need all the support i can get from each one as i'd devote all the support i could give...."...hahaha, korny ano?!

It was an awkward day...we discussed work in a serious manner, no jokes as i usually do with my previous group to relieve tension and formalites. Definetly it works that way. It was only a day and i am terribly missing them. I wish new friendship blooms within the new team...and i intend to build the atmosphere the soonest. I am aware that in general, casual..not close friendships are preferable in business. Casual ones are safest but i definetly prefer the latter...workplace friendships among co-workers reap positive results, and by all means retard accelerated aging.

Carriers Of The Scars Of Life

2005-02-26T09:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a holiday in celebration of the EDSA 1 revolution. It was a free day and i did not report myself to work. Instead, woke up early, had my usual coffee, egg and bread, packed my guitar with my pick and extra set of strings and drove straight to a cousin's house in Marikina. We had this scheduled practice with my band for a forthcoming "small-small" gig at a friend's birthday. Syempre, we have to be prepared para hindi naman kami magmukhang lata.

But that was not the story is all about. While i was on a traffic stop at the intersection of Masinag and Marcos Hi-way, a barely 8-year-old skinny boy, in his soiled clothes and smudge on his face knocked on my side seat with his palm open. Without a word, it is understood he was begging for some alms. I just picked up a five-peso coin and hand it over to him while i kept my eyes on the traffic lights. He ran across the street and handed the coin to a woman with a small girl seating right at a corner looking dejected. I thought, it could be his mother and younger sister. The woman was more skinny, with clothes that could have been a thousand times worn without a wash. Her sad face had all these wrinkles formed, weary eyes were so evident and the soiled feet that were only covered by an old "tsinelas". They were the common beggars of the society.

A few kilometers after the Go signal, the thought of the boy's and my younger son's faces flashed and i cannot believe myself giving an alms of five pesos. While driving, i had some questions in my head: " ano mabibili nung limang peso, kendi, tig-iisa para sa kanilang tatlo?! kung anak ko yung namamalimos, bibigyan ko rin ng lima?". what was i thinking?...i felt i was so insensible, kuripot, manhid, walang-paki. Tangna...the guilt struck me right at that moment. Noon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganun.

During the practice, Bosyo, our bass dude approached me then asked, "brod, mukhang out of this world ka 'ata ngayun. Matamlay ka ah...me problema ba?". I had to narrate what happened and what i just did. He smiled, tapped my shoulders then said:" brod, kung bibigyan kita ng limang piso, ano kaya mararamdaman mo ngayon". That answered all my questions that even affirmed my guilt i had been inducing a few hours back. After the practice, Bosyo tapped me at the back of my head (binatukan ako) and suggested, "bro, samahan kita, balikan natin yung biktima mo at gawan mo ng paraan, pagkatapos nun hatid mo ako sa bahay". We drove ahead, stopped by a convenient store and bought a few goods and bread then went straight to that intersection. The boy was nowhere in sight but the woman and the young girl were still at their old post. I handed the plastic bag to the woman and gave her a nod, a retired smile was her reply and uttered in a silent tone..."salamat po".

Right at that moment, i felt a big relief. Di ko ma-eksplika ang sarili ko but it was great...a prized redemption for a wicked man. Bosyo, who was left sitting at the car was smiling then flashed a thumbs up in affirmation. He is one of the simplest, nicest, kind-hearted, crazy guy, i've known and i really admire him for that. When i reached home, i've told my wife about what happened. She pinched my left ear lobe and said:" Tama yang ginawa mo". Sure, the government discourages giving to street beggars...by our gifts, we give them a reason to be on the street rather than in an environment where they could be helped. But it is difficult to turn our backs to people in distress.

I had a good sleep last night. I've relialized that we shouldn't wait for the next Tsunami to see less fortunate, distressed and tormented people. There are a lot of them around us.

Horsemen Coming Right Through

2005-02-18T11:32:00.000+08:00

It was the night when the "Red Horse" beer drinkers and hell raisers were on the loose. Gabi ng despedida ng isang barkada papuntang Saudi at paikot-ikot kami sa kawalan para mairaos ang gabi. Ang hanap namin ay yung medyo masaya (hindi yung malaswa) para naman nakangiting pasakay ng eroplano itong kaibigan namin. At napadpad kami rito sa Klownz, Araneta. Wala na talagang mapuntahan, baka maubos lang ang oras sa kaiikot.

At ito ang resulta:

Maraming bayot na standup comedian at di talaga ako matawa. Di ko masakyan ang mga pinagsasabi bukod pa sa hindi wholesome...eh, pang wholesome tayo, hehehe. Ewan, nakakasawa na rin sigurong manood ng ganoong tema kaya nilunod ko na lang sarili ko sa beer.

Mga ala una ng madaling araw, ito na ang Aegis which was great. Tuminding ang balahibo ko sa boses ng dalawang babaeng belters. Bukod sa matataas ang boses ay wala ka pang marinig na sayad maski minsan. At sa kanila pa ako natawa sa kanilang mga jokes. Mga komedyante rin pala (in their own rights) itong dalawang chick vocals.

Nag-enjoy ako sa mini concert. Alas tres ng umaga na kami nauwi at pumasok pa ako ng trabaho ng 7 am. Eto, gusto ng magsara ang mata ko sa antok.

Ode to a Lady

2005-02-14T11:25:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day na naman...maalala ko pati noong ako'y nanliligaw pa sa asawa ko. Kasamahan ko siya sa trabaho, nasa Poduction Department siya, Admin Assistant, at ako naman eh, nasa Electrical Department. Hatid-sundo ko siya sa opis, guwardya-Jawo style, at noong araw ng Valentines, pumasok ako sa opisina niya, me dalang isang bungkos ng red roses, a card and some chocolates. Pagka-abot ko sa kanya, sigawan at palakpakan ang kanyang mga officemates samantalang siya ay nakangiti at nagba-blush. Pero wala sa akin ang kantiyaw noon, basta in-love, kumakapal ang mukha ko, lumalakas ang loob...naroon pa ang kanyang boss, sinusundo ko na pauwi...walanghiya kasi ako noong araw. Ewan, marami mga akward na bagay na nagawa ko. Ganyan yata pag umiibig.

Kahapon nai-date ko siya (kasama ang aking mga anak at kasama sa bahay). Nag-ihaw ako ng tilapia, nagkilaw ng dilis at nagluto ng ginataang langka. Sinamahan ko na rin ng fresh buko juice para kumpleto. Yes, kumain, nag-lunch kami sa labas...sa likod ng bahay. Ay, talagang super ang kain, sira lahat ang kanilang diet. Di na kailangan ang engranding date sa restaurant, importante maipakita at maipadama kung gaano kahalaga ang isang tao. Bago matulog syempre sinambit ko na yung aking "I Love You" with a kiss at pinabasa ko na itong minadaling poem na gawa ko para sa kanya. Syempre, the rest is history ika nga...hehehe.

Ode to My Wife

The past thirteen years, is worth a hundred and nine,
There is not a bit of boredom between us two;
Though i may not be on your side every tick of time,
I'd always pause, stop my stride and think of you.

After a hard days work, the energy reserved,
To scrample home without delay to be on time;
And see you sit by the window, yawning sleepily, unfazed;
Holding back for your old man, unweathered, trusting he's fine.

For all the fascinating years gone by;
Now may ask you to pause the nag and shut up for a while,
As i raise my glass in tone and say;
For any day is Valentines, you would always be my queen of the day.

"Happy Valentines" to you, my everdearest,
Here is a toast to a fine and dear lady...
Who unselfishly devotes her love to me at best,
I will forever value the love and carry your heart with me.

Loud and Proud

2005-02-13T10:50:00.000+08:00

Woohoo...just received a small package from my good childhood friend, Tikoy from L.A. Some usual assorted canned goods and the best was an 8-piece carefully-packed metal CD's. Tikoy...man, salamat. Di ka pa rin nakakalimot, sa susunod sana samahan mo naman ng 501, hehehe. You're the best, bro!

Mabubulabog na naman ang mga tutuli ko nito, and the new CD's are:
1. Dream Theater - Awake
2. Dream Theater - Cleaning Out The Closet
3. Arch Enemy - Anthems of Rebellion
4. Blind Guardian - A Night at The Opera
5. Nightwish - Wishmaster
6. Dragonheart - Throne of the Alliance
7. Rob Zombie - Hellbilly Deluxe
8. Manowar - Louder Than Hell

Baduy Nga Ba?

2005-02-06T21:05:00.000+08:00

Nagkaroon uli ako ng tsansa na makapuntang Makati kahapon. Sumakay lang ako ng jeepney, tamad akong magdala ng sasakyan kapag doon ang punta ko...mawawala talaga ako sa pagmamamaneho. Bukod sa hindi ako sanay sa lugar, napakaraming kalye na one way at nagpapalit pa ng scheme madalas. One way ngayun, sa isang linggo iba na. Sanay naman ako sa jeep, tricycle, ordinary bus, karetela pa nga kung minsan pag nasa probinsya. Pinakamatindi na nasakyan ko papuntang baryo (sa bukid) ay yung tinatawag nilang "kuliglig". Isang improvised na sasakyan (mini-tractor that doubles as a passenger vehicle). Bukod sa maingay, masakit sa puwet sa lakas ng vibration. Pagbaba mo galing sa sakay, parang nanginginig at umaalog pa rin ang katawan mo.

Napalayo ako. Habang nakasakay sa jeepney me nag-uusap na dalawang estudyanteng babae, makikinis at nagbubungisngisan. Me nakita yata yung isa at napasalita ng "eks, ang baduy naman ng mga yun!" sabay tawa yung dalawa. Sa kuryusidad ko, tinignan ko yung binabanggit. Dalawa ring kabataan, na ordinaryo ang suot, wala sa uso at magsyota...nakaholding hands kasi. Nakapumada ata o gel yung lalake at nakatsinelas pa. Ewan, bigla akong nag-isip. Ba't baduy? Napatalinhaga ako sa ibig sabihin ng baduy sa panahon na 'to. Ano ang pagkakaiba ng baduy nong 80's o 90's sa ngayun? Noong araw kasi sa pagkakaalam ko, ang "baduy" eh yung kulay pula ang polo, asul ang medyas at berde ang sapatos. Pero kung maalala natin, sa 90's yung pormang yun eh "in na in" pagpasok ng era ng "bagets"...so yung baduy sa porma noog 80's, pumatok ang ganun ding porma sa '90's.

Would a "baduy" mean less superior sa salita at gawa o sa porma? Naghanap ako ng mga articles para sa kahulugan ng "baduy" sa kasalukuyang panahon. The young generation describe them as: kung di ka fasionable o wala ka sa style, you're baduy; kung wala kang eteketa o medyo bastos, baduy ka; kung trying hard ka to be in pero out pa rin, baduy ka raw; kung old fashion ka, baduy ka raw; kapag kill joy o walang pakisama, baduy; mga englisero na english carabao, mga coño raw magsalita tulad ng "the more the many-er, give him the benefit of the daw or oh my God don't make tusok-tusok with that fishball". At baduy ka raw pag alam mo lahat ng pangalan ng membro ng Sex Bomb Dancers.

Sinubukan ko nga ilista ang labinlimang (15) bagay na unang pumasok sa isip ko kung ano meron ako para ma-assess ko kung ako eh baduy rin:
1. Kinakain ko ngayun habang nagbo-blog: kropeck (sitsaron)
2. Kadalasang pinapanood sa TV: PBA, TV Patrol, CSI at HBO
3. Kadalasang damit: button-fly jeans, gray cotton shirt, and sneakers. but i dress-up naman, kumporme sa okasyon.
4. My music: nothing but metal. Hate ko talaga ang disco at rap (sori sa mahilig 'nun).
5. Paboritong pagkain: bulalo na may katabing bagoong + kalamansi, pinakbet, papaitan.
6. Paboritong parte sa newspaper: editorial or opinion section
7. Kadalasang pasyalan: SM Megamall at Luneta (kasama ang pamilya)
8. Moody ako, ngayun nakatawa, mamaya seryoso na ang mukha.
9. Madali akong maluha pag nanonood ng drama movies (mga english ang type ko)...mababaw luha ko.
10. Mahilig ako sa gitara, dalawa gitara ko: isang Stratocaster at isang Lumanog.
11. Type kong almusal ay dilis, tuyo at itlog (dito yata hinango ang "jolog"...di-yo-log).
12. Laki akong probinsya...ilokano ako.
13. Napapadaan minsan sa ukay-ukay at tiangge.
14. Segunda mano ang sasakyan.
15. Mga barkada: (ang aking banda) mga kababayan ko na pareho ko rin ang ugali at porma.

Tsk, 75% baduy nga ako...eh ano?! But i'll disagree with the two kolehiyalas that i am less superior. I would say "baduy" is only in the mind...walang epekto sa akin, nakatrinelas man o naka-birkenstock.

Across The Miles

2005-02-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

Today is declared as official Hangover Day...I got a headache the whole day and i feel lousy.

I, together with some company delegates were in Makati yesterday to attend the business unit's annual "Advance Day". Nakababa na naman ng bundok ang mga taga-bundok...kami yun. It was held in Dusit Hotel and there were around ninety participants, that included the big, big bosses. It was a whole day affair where plant performaces for the year 2004 were reviewed (if targets and objectives were met) then plans and ambitions for this year were laid out.

"Advance" is the industrial division's vision to assert the industrial leadership, that is to set and achieve world class performance targets.

Maximise value through increasing margins with the right balance of high perceived value and low delivered cost.
Resolve daily operational challenges with sustainable solutions.
Confirm the leadership by active benchmarking and reacting faster than competitors to the industrial challenges of tomorrow.
Drive the development and application of new technologies in the industry.
Improve asset utilisation effectiveness by increasing investment yields and reducing working capital.

Naks, bigat ano? After long discussions, there were awards given to each company who did well last year. We were given the Safety Award (there were no accidents incurred for the last 2 1/2 years), Plant Reliability Award (from 88 % to 97.5% ) and Operation Level Award. Tuwang-tuwa ang boss namin at sa tuwa, pina-inom kami sa Pier One (sa The Fort daw yun) hanggang 2 am ng umaga. Ngayun, medyo mahilo-hilo pa ako sa hangover. But it was such a big achievement for the company whose vision is to have a continuous improvement, not only on operational aspect but to the people as well.

Boring na kwento ano?!

Heat Exhaust

2005-01-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

How would you term a guy who comes in the middle of a very important meeting, late, takes his seat, opens his mobile phone and do nothing but exchange messages with his textmate for the whole span of the meeting?

How would you term a guy who doesn't care to submit his reports on time for consolidation then tells you some alibis?

How would you term a guy who just scratches his head everytime you ask for his updates?

How would you term a guy who submits reports only to find out the data were inconsistent and the final report was already submitted to the big boss?

How would you term a guy who crams during deadlines and fill your table with hundreds of pages for signature, that is each page has to be signed?

How would you term a guy who is eating, talks with you with his mouth full while some splinters land on your shirt?

I felt like twisting some necks today...hah!!!

May all the pathetic scumbags, vile, worthless, less than nothing, weed, a fungus, a ferment or whatever vanish fron the face of the earth..., oh well, please excuse my words...

Between Dreams and Wishful Sinful

2005-01-22T11:20:00.000+08:00

I wish I was filthy rich: That i could buy anything in this world that money could buy. That i would not worry going to work each day to earn the day's worth. I'll be sitting on the porch the whole day drinking coffee, yawning sleepily facing the sea while waiting for the owned business' earnings. A luxurious life that is. You could criticize me of being too ambitious, absurd but the question is: Is there anybody who doesn't wish to be wealthy? I don't know but I dream of being one. I can not accept people say: “You should be content with your poverty, you should be content with your sicknesses, you should be content with all kinds of exploitation. You should be content and you should not try to rise higher, to reach to the sun and the rain and the wind.” In fact i consider myself wealthy, financially not but i have my family...my loving wife, my lovely kids, my supportive folks. And i still have my healthy lungs, my work, my friends. I am contented, not complaining, it's just a dream of a good life enjoyed by this aristocracy.

I wish I was tall: I am not that short, a typical filipino height but i wish i had more. I love basketball and being tall matters...a tower of power. Maganda rin magdala ng damit ang matangkad. Sabi nga ng popular na margarin..."iba na ang matangkad". But i can do nothing about it. I came from a not so tall, averaged-height descendants.

I wish i had those magic fingers: Where i could play my guitar with intensity, where i could do plenty of string bending, sweet vibratos and fretboard gymnastics. It would be cool to be one of those superspeed "shedders" and ax slingers. When i was a kid, i used to act in front of the mirror with a broom posing in a classic lead guitar stance positioning a toast for those about to rock. I played in a ukelele ensemble for three years in elementary and had my first guitar when i was 14. Until now, i dreamed of being a "Page, Beck, Steve Ray Vaughan, Vai, Metheny, Duane Allman, Vince Gill, Robert Cray, Reb Beach, Dweezel Zappa, Jeff Tyson, Wally Gonzales, Stev Morse", etc...Yes, i want to lick my guitar like there is no tomorrow.

I wish I had a powerful dynamic voice: I can sing fair enough, i sing in videoke bars, during jams, drinking sessions, in the bathroom, in the car...but a great voice means "Noel Cabangon, Norah Jones, Charlotte Church, Scott Weiland, Cris Cornell, Bruce Dickinson, Lyne Staley, Kevin Dubrow, Rob Halford, Tim "Ripper" Owens" to name a few. The first three are some of the gifted singers with really good symphonic voices, the latter names are heavy metal belters that could scream and belt in high notes and give you some shivers.

I wish I was a queerbee in a fashion industry: (This is not me, I've taken it from the Bloodhound Gang) Yap, being a queer...scoring with a supermodel would be easy. Supermodels are voluptuous and is synonomous with superdumb. I'd be a good listener and then she'd treat me as her sister. After a while she'd give me her full trust to rub her back and braid her hair. One thing would then lead to another.

I wish Philippines would be great again: Free from traditional politics, free from agelong crisis and corruption, from those big-fanged crocodiles of our society. A time when everyone is in unity. A time when we could walk alone in the vast of the dark without fear, drive our cars confidently, the time when everything is abundant and a place where we will proudly say we live in an enchanting place. I still dream of a good life for our children's children.

I wish i was young again: The time when i was in the arms of my mother, tucks me in bed each night, explodes those un-ending sermons everytime i am in disarray. The time when me and my siblings scrammble at the gate each time dad comes home from a week-long work in a mining company. The time when dad holds my hand, carries me as we walk through the park. The time when mom and dad still had no wrinkles on their faces, the time when they still walk and move briskly. I miss the time when all of us stay and sleep in one bed, side by side comfortably each time there were thunderstorms, when we all dance those cha-chas and tangos in the living room just to pass time. I miss the time when i was young and wild...those were one of the best days of my life.

I wish i am handsome: My mother tells me i am handsome (naks!), my wife and the others consistently disagrees...(i think i have to believe my mom...patronize your own ika nga. Please po, wala ng kokontra). Before everyone raise their brows, ilusyon ko lang po ito *erase, erase*

and I wish of world peace *kaway ala-Sandara*. I wish I am a good middleman, a good negotiator, a peacekeeper...to settle all world's perpetual misunderstandings, rebellions, revolutions and end all the miseries with a promise of equality to great heights. I dream of a time when swords are not needed, bombs are not needed. A time when there are no more bloodsheds, no disasters, no famine, no hatred...a time of an un-ending peace.

Sometimes I Feel Like Screaming

2005-01-14T11:07:00.000+08:00

Nothing's changed...

...except that i've missed blogging and i really missed the "guys" here. November had been a hard month for me that i had to stop some of the things i do and that blogging was one of the. I had to re-assess my work, my life and iron out the wrinkles before my head explodes. Pressure was everywhere and i was confused on where to start.

The work for the year end was too much, preparing the annual reports, Key Plant Indicators (KPIs) had to be assessed to get a snapshot of the business unit's performances. Summaries were computed and analyzed for a presentation to the big bosses who were very hard to please (ganito yata ang mga boss, walang kasiyahan...kuha mo lahat ng objectives yet kulang pa, palaging may hinahanap). Budgets for 2005 were prepared and reviewed and trimmed down over and over. Meetings, both nonsense and no-nonsense, were here, there and everywhere...these bore you to death plus add the regular maintenance works that were done regularly at the site. Definitely, work destroys blogging.

Then there were these personal issues which added the spice, an arguement with a colleage plus a misunderstanding with one of my best friend. Forgiving and forgetting had been very hard but the spirit of the holidays helped a lot. Everything was settled and now we act as if nothing ever happened. Then i've been missing my family who were in Cebu...i spent my Christmas alone and i have resorted to a non-stop drinking when loneliness dictates. I was sick (literally) and tired of this solitary I had to fly to Cebu to be with them on the New Year and at least made this day meaningful. Sometimes you forget to be on track when loneliness persists...but i've realized and learned from my mistakes and intend not to be careless again...there is no looking back.

And i've missed my friends here at the blogsphere...i was not actively writing posts but when the urge comes, i open up each site and read, i was around. And i sincerely thank most of them who have not forgotten, some persist on having me back despite of me being a snob and i came back. When i decided to close shop, i intended not to come back anymore. But i realized that i love blogging and i love the friends in here.

Some changed afterall...

The Rebirth

2005-01-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

My vulgar misery ends
Ride the winds of a brand new day;
High where mountains stand
Found my hope and pride again,
The rebirth of the edge of the world.

At The Edge of Goodbye

2004-12-08T09:02:00.000+08:00

When the magic's fading...something's bound to cease,
This great journey created its own memories;
Now's the time to draw the curtains down,
To ponder the path of thy feet;

It is not goodbye, but rather "see you later",
To the dear friends i look up to and treated with respect;
With your presence in my life,
You made me into a better person.

So, this is it my bros...GOODBYE;
For i have reached the point of turning away,
While i lick my wounds and recuperate;
Someday, we'll bump, shake hands and say "it's been a good day"...

PH Blog Awards Concluded

2004-12-03T09:56:00.000+08:00

The Philippine Blog Awards has spoken. And the deserving winners were posted yesterday. Congratulations to the big winners for this year, 2004:

Kutitots for The Best Blog Site for 2004. I am also extending my greetings to my friend Ferdz's Ironwulf for making it to the top 3.

Kwentong Tambay of BatJay bro for The Best Blogger of 2004.

TechnoBiography for The Most Informative Blog for 2004.

Would also like to congratulate dude, dizzy, and yours truly, metal who have been until the finals for this year's awards.

For all the 365 entries, nominated right from the start...everyone is a winner!

A Busy Sunday For The Family

2004-11-28T18:08:00.000+08:00

The sun was up, shining with glory, woke up early with the cock's crow. My wife and I had to prepare for the early morning mass. Homily was good...it was about things to be thankful. A gracious breakfast for the soul.

Afterwards, we drove to an Antipolo court for a nice, exhausting badminton play...get all those persistent fats off the belly, stretch those fluffy muscles and re-work on those regressing joints. Never thought my eldest daughter was that good in badminton. Sometimes I miss watching these kids grow.

A mincing lunch at a nearby Max's Fried Chicken restaurant to replenish the sweat from the previous play...it was really good to the last bone.

After lunch, I have to accompany our daughter for their school's anniversary parade until the late afternoon. She was in their band's amusing clothes to play her lire.

We got back to Antipolo again for some child's play...treat the kids to the "peryahan", a local carnival for the city's forthcoming fiesta (December 8: Feast of the Voyage Patron Saint, Immaculate Conception). The kids really enjoyed the rides as i enjoyed ticking those numbers on the bingo. Unfortunately, i've missed all the pots, but was delighted on the "tiangge" stuff and got all the money's worth.

For the last course, me and my barkada went to the nearby karaoke bar for some late cold beer and listen to some oozing riffs from a local rock band.

Yesterday has been a good day, a simple one yet far more better than the other pleasure's in life. We have to be thankful for the Lord's many blessings to us, and may we learn to do that every day — not just on Thanksgiving. Sometimes we also need to be "just plain thankful": that is to say, we need to be grateful simply because we’re conscious of God’s unconditional love and his many blessings.

Kelan ang Una?

2004-11-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

Naisulat ko ito noon pang Oktobre 14, 2004 (aking kaarawan), ngayon ko lang lakas-loob na mailalathala sa kadahilanang wala na akong ibang mailathala...

Noong araw na sumulat ako ng artikulo patungkol sa bisyong sigarilyo...me tanong doon kung "kelan ang aking unang yosi" at pabiglang sumaglit sa aking alaala ang mga nakaraan. Mabuti man, masama o mababaw, ito'y naging parte rin ng aking buhay. Naisip ko, makapagsulat ng mga panyayaring may katanungang "kelan ang una..." at nang makapagbalik-tanaw. Hindi ito naisulat sa pagkakasunod-sunod ng pangyayari.

Kelan ang aking unang pag-ibig?: 2nd year ako noon sa kolehiyo, hinding-hindi ko malilimulan si Marivic (maganda, mahinhin at kamukha ni Anna Marie Gutierez ng sumikat na "Scorpio Nights"), una kong natanaw sa bintana ng tinutuluyang boarding house sa Baguio. Di ko talaga napigil ang aking sarili, pagibig sa unang tingin, kumatok ako sa tinitirhan niya noon at kapal-mukhang nagpakilala sa sa kanya. Pinalad naman ako sa aking mahabang paniningalang-pugad, nag-on kami ng dalawang taon at nagkahiwalay din sa masakit na dahilan. Dinamdam ko yun at di nanligaw uli sa iba ng higit 4 na taon.

Kelan ang aking totoong pag-ibig?: Nang makilala ko ang aking naging asawa, si Liezel. Nakikituloy siya sa bahay ng kanyang tiya na me tindahan kung saan ako bumibili. Me hawak akong sukling barya noon, pinakilala ako sa kanya ng kanyang tiyahin at sa aking kaba at kalituhan, nabitawan ko ang aking hawak na barya at sumabog ito sa lupa. Ngiti lang ang tugon nya sa akin. Mula noon, di ko na siya nilubayan, siya nga ang aking nakatuluyan at ina ngayon ng aking mga anak.

Kelan ako unang nagkaroon ng tapat na kaibigan?: Edad 9 nang makilala ko si best friend Zaldy...sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, kami ang laging magkasama, sa paglalaro, sa init ng araw, sa galaan, sa pagkain, sa kalukohan. Sa kanya ako natutong gumuhit...talagang napakagaling nya. Ito na ang aking naging unang hilig... guhit dito, guhit dun, maski sa lupa...guhit. Napatunayan ko ang aking sarili nang sumali ako sa isang "poster making contest" sa unibersidad...3rd year college ako. Isa ako sa 10 runner-ups at ok na sa 'kin yun...sa mahigit 100 entries, nasa top 10 ako. Ang tema noon ay tungkol sa pag-iwas sa droga at ang aking dibuho (guhit sa charcoal) ay isang taong nakataob sa loob ng malaking ineksiyon (syringe) na parang nalunod sa tubig, at ang naging pamagat at mensahe ay "Drug Addiction leads one to damnation". Syento sinkwenta (150) pesos ang consolation prize at naipang-date ko na 'yon.

Kelan ang aking unang paghanga?: Ah, si Raquel, pinakakyut na kakalse ko sa Grade 3, palagi ko siyang sinusundan noon at binibigyan ng mumurahing tsokolate. Maaga akong lumandi at doon ko unang na-appreciate ang kagandahan ng isang babae.

Kelan ako unang nangarap?: Grade 6 sa elementarya, dahil sa gumuguhit na ako noon, ako ang artist sa aming eskuwela. Nagpagawa sa akin ang aming guro ng isang dibuho na nakalarawan lahat ng aking klasmeyt na naisasalarawan ang kanya-kanyang mga ambisyon, at ang titulo... "What Will I Be, 10 Years From Now?". Doon ko nasabi na magiging enginyero ako...at nagkatotoo nga.

Kelan ang una kong dalamhati?: Nang pumanaw ang aking mahal na lolo...kami ang laging magkasama nang bata pa ako at napakarami kong natutunan sa kanya. Isa siyang magsasaka (di sya ang nagsasaka pero sya ang namamahala ng sakain) at naituro sa akin lahat ng gawain sa bukid, pagmintena ng palaisdaan, paggawa ng bahay-kubo, pati pagsasabong ay natutunan ko sa kanya. Ako'y akay-akay palagi sa lahat ng kanyang lakarin at halos di naghihiwalay, pinakamapait na luha ang lumabas sa aking mata ng siya ay pumanaw.

Kelan ang aking unang tikim ng alak?: 3rd year high school, maalala ko pa...nag-eskapo sa klase kami ng mga barkada at nagtambay sa kanilang bahay...nagpatugtog siya ng bagong awit noon ni Paul McCartney na "Coming Up" at naglabas ng Ginebrang bilog at 7-UP. Yun ang una kong tikim ng alak at yun din ang una kong pagsuka.

Kelan ang una kong trip sa rak en rol?: 2nd year sa high school, narinig ko ang unang kanta ng Cars na "Let's Go" at mula noon di ko na nilubayan ang rock. Sumunod na lumabas ang "Lovedrive" LP ng Scorpions at lalo akong nahibang sa ganiyong tema ng musika. Unang-una kong LP noon ay ang KISS Alive II na nairegalo sa akin ng aking tatay. Hanggang ngayon, ito pa rin aking musika.

Kelan ang una (at huli) na nakatikim ng preso si metal?: 17 anos ako noon, semestral break, bakasyon sa probinsya, nagkita-kita kami ng barkada at nag-inom hanggang madaling-araw. Pinaghalo-halo namin ang inuming beer, gin at coke sa iisang pitsel...sa bagsik at dami ng inumin, lahat kami'y nawala sa sarili. Pagkatapos ng session, sabay-sabay kaming nag-uwian...pagapang. Napadaan kami sa harap ng Police Station at sa kasamaang palad, nakita kami ng mga pulis at lahat kami ay naipasok sa preso hanggang mahimasmasan. "Loitering" daw ang dahilan pero di naman kinasuhan ng pormal. Galit na galit sa akin ang aking mga magulang...'san-linggo yata akong nasermunan at pinagbantaan na pag di nagbago ay sisipain palabas ng bahay.

Kelan unang nawala ng aking pagkalalake?: Birthday ko noon, papasok ng edad 17, pagkatapos ng kaunting salu-salo, dumating ang aking tiyuhin at sinabi sa akin na oras na. Pumunta kami sa karatig bayan at dinala ako sa isang kuwarto na medyo madilim at me pulang ilaw sa kanto ng dingding. Ilang sandali pa lang ay me pumasok na babae na ewan kung saang lupalop galing at nangyari ang dapat magyari (pasensya na, di ko mai-detalye ang nangyari). Walang nasabi ang babae kundi "grabe ka"...

Kelan ako unang nagka-interes sa blogging?: lazy sunday ng July 4, 2004...walang magawa, nag-surf sa internet at napunta ako sa site ni "the mushpit". Nagbasa-basa at napagtanto na ang blog ay isang journal ng buhay, kuro-kuro, insights, paniniwala, interaction ng mga taong may pananaw. Naibigan ko ang blog at gumawa rin para sa aking sarili...nag-aral ng kaunting html, css, graphics editing at macromedia at nakabuo naman ng site na makapagrerepresenta ng aking personalidad o persona. Dito ko naibubuhos ang aking mga problema, hinaing, mga kuwento (seryoso man, nakakatawa o mais), obserbasyon o kahit ano pa man. Hindi na nakukumpleto ang aking araw hanggat di ko nabibisita ang mga kinagigiliwan kong kapwa bloggers...ito ay parte na ng aking buhay.

Marami pa akong kuwentong una, mga karanasang di ko na rin maisusulat sa kadahilanang ito ay medyo personal at makabubuting para sa akin na lang ang mga ito. Maipagmamalaki ko lang na gaano man kabuti o kasama ang mga karanasan, ito ay bahagi, karugtong ng aking pagkalalang, nakapagturo sa akin para sa pagbabago, humubog para sa mas mabuting pagkatao.

Coracho...Walang Pahinga

2004-11-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

Para akong natuyuan ng katas ngayong araw na 'to...ihi lang ang pahinga. Puwede na rin akong tawaging "ang lalakeng walang pahinga".

Naka-leave kasi ang bossing ko, umuwi ng Zamboanga para sa kanyang taunang bakasyon grande at as usual, oic ako sa departamento. Lahat kasi ng meeting niya sinasalo ko, idagdag pa 'yong sarili kong meeting...suma-total, doble. Kabi-kabilaang meeting na buti sana kung lahat ay kaiga-igaya, yung iba, talagang nakakaantok. Kanina lang, pinakahuli na dinaluhan ko ay ang operations meeting na natapos ng alas onse y medya. Pagkakain ng tanghalian, patunaw ng kaunti at nagtawag uli ng panibagong pulong, alas dose y medya. Ito nama'y para sa nalalapit na Christmas party. Pinag-usapan namin kung ano ang itatanghal ng management team, dumating kasi ang nai-hire na choreographer at nai-presenta ang mga binabalak na gagawin.

Pagkatapos ng meeting, balik ako sa aking opisina para naman saguting ang mga e-mails na kung anu-anong information na hinihingi at mga reports ko na nangangamoy na sa tagal at di matapus-tapos. May taga-Meralco na nangangailangan ng mga power transformer specifications. May taga-Technical Center (sa Malaysia) na nangangailang ng mga electrical single line diagram ng power distribution para sa kanilang Fault Study, may iba naman nag-iimbita ng mga seminars. Pinakamaganda 'atang natanggap kong mail kanina ay yung isang clip tungkol sa isang taga-CEU na sekretong nakunan sa isang motel...padala ng isang ka-opisina kong mahilig o pwede na rin nating tawagin na marunong magmalasakit sa kapwa lalake.

Kauupo ko lang, tumawag naman itong division manager dito at may bagay na gustong linawin at idiskusyon. Suya, kababalik ko lang, ayan..tawag uli (di ko lang masabi na kung sino me kailangan, siya ang lumapit)! Pagkatapos ng pag-uusap, balik ako sa opis ko na sana eh malapit, pero halos 200 meters na lalakarin. Kauupo ko lang, ayan na ang isang bata kong technician...naglalambing na panoorin ko raw ang practice nila sa kanila ring presentasyon sa x'mas party. Di na rin ako umayaw, hangga't maari kasi ayoko silang mapahiya. Gusto ko rin namang ipakita ang suporta ko sa kanilang ginagawa. Kaya, ang labas ko sa planta kanina, mga alas otso na ng gabi.

Kaya ito ako ngayun, masakit ang ulo pero nagbo-blog pa rin (syempre)...Ay, hirap talaga kumita ng pera...

The Art of Eating Intelligently

2004-11-19T20:36:00.000+08:00

I was in Makati today, my company's head office at the PBCom Towers, for a meeting on critical spare parts. The objective of the program is that, all the company's plants in the Philippines (Lafarge have 7 cement plants here: 2 in Rizal, 2 in Bulacan, 1 in Bataan, 1 in Cebu and 1 in Iligan) must have a common database of equipment and available spare parts which could serve as a reference during emergencies. This would greatly lessen downtime, control maintenance costs and eventually improve the company's reliability, one of the business unit's objective, second to safety.

I was actually in lieu of our Maintenance Division Manager who happens to be in Baguio City as part of the delegate to accept an award for the company as the Safest Cement Plant in the Phils for this year (award given by the Mines & Geosciences Bureau). And President Arroyo, herself, will be the one to personally hand the award.

The meeting was good and it ended until 12 o'clock noon. The Reliability Consulant, Mr. Weston, a Canadian, asked us to join him for a lunch before we heed to our respective homes. Eight of us walked in to this little restaurant, had a seat and scan the menu. So, i thought this is an italian restaurant since the words from the menu were in itaian and i don't even understand a single word. The waiter in a bow tie was about to take our individual orders and i said that i don't understand the menu. I politely asked what's for lunch and he eagerly replied with italian- sounding words that made me look like a fool. Well, it made me smile and again politely asked him to say it in simple terms. Then he replied: "the first one is a roasted beef, 2nd one is a fish in special sauce, and the last choice would be some prawns...soooo...

We had salad in sesame oil for the appetizer and the main course...i had a slice of fish with rice. Last one was a slice of pineapple (fresh from the can) with cream for dessert. The best part was with the bill...Mr. Weston, with no expression on his face, got the bill and hand his credit card. When everything was settled, i can't help myself but ask my colleage, who was seating right beside him and had a peek on the bill, how much was in it. He uttered it was more than 8 thousand pesos. If i were the one who would pay that bill, i would surely faint...for a food like that which costs more that a thousand pesos per plate.

That was bullshit...i thought that this was not a very special day just to have a lunch that costs that much. Maski di ako ang nagbayad, nanghihinayang talaga ako...sa hirap ng buhay ngayon. Aling Nena, the neighbor's carenderia cook, could prepare a food much better than that just for a few pesos. Oh, well.

When The Ship Comes In

2004-11-15T18:20:00.000+08:00

Noong nakaraang Martes, pagkatapos ng aming meeting, hinaltak ako ni Bill McDonald, ang aming Scottish plant manager para sa isang seryosong usapan (sabagay, puro seryoso naman palagi ang usapan). Hiningi na nya ang aking kasagutan...tatlong linggo na kasi siyang nanliligaw sa akin. Pero di sa pag-ibig ang panliligaw (ano siya hilo?), gusto nya akong mag-head ng isang department dito na matagal ng walang namumuno.

Three weeks ago, pinatawag nya ako at nai-offer nga itong posisyon. Sabi nya ay para raw sa aking future at sigurado raw sya na kaya ko...oras na raw para sa mas mabigat na responsibilidad. Ang posisyon kasing ito ay kakaiba sa nakaugalian kong gawin...na ginagawa ko sa loob ng 16 na taon *sige, mabibisto na talaga edad ko*. Napaka-technical ang ginagawa ko ngayun...ito'y sa process at automation and it involves system engineering (automating a process plant)...it is an electrical engineering at talagang punong-puno ng paghamon, di nakakasawa, kada araw, iba't-iba ang ginagawa...walang redundancy ika nga . Pero itong binibigay sa akin ngayon ay tungkol naman sa maintenance system...it involves scheduling, level inspections, technical analysis. In short, pamamahala ng isang programa o systema para ma-optimize mo ang reliability ng planta. Ito'y napakahalaga sa tagumpay ng isang business unit. Engineering pa rin pero mababawasan na ang teknikalidad...madadagdagan ang management aspect o pamamahala sa isang systema.

Tatlong beses na rin akong pinatawag-tawag sa opisina ni Boss Bill at nagtatanong kong napag-isipan ko na. Kailangan ko rin timbangin ang lahat ng posibilidad bago ako magdesisyon. Tinanung ko ang aking mga kamag-anak at mga kaibigan...para pandagdag sa pagbibigay linaw...suportado naman nila ako. Noong Martes nga, tinanggap ko na, di na ako nakaayaw. Mahihiwalay na ako sa aking mga kasama at kaibigan sa trabaho na nakaulayaw ko sa mahabang panahon. Di naman kami magkakahiway sa planta, dito pa rin naman ako pero ang interaction namin ay mababawasan na. Ibang grupo na ang aking makakasalamuha, at ako ang mamumuno sa kanila. Mag-uumpisa na ang transition period, at sa January, 2005...goodbye Senior Systems & Automation Engineer...hello Methods Manager.

Noong Martes nga ay tuwang-tuwa si Bill sa aking kasagutan...at binigyan naman ako ng katiyakan na tutulungan ako sa aking bagong pagsubok. Habang sinusulat ko ito, naalala ko ang isang linya sa pelikulang Spiderman...nabanggit ng tiyuhin ni Peter habang papalabas sa taxi: "Great power comes with great responsibility".

Overdrive

2004-11-10T15:59:00.000+08:00

I am contented today...at last i have renewed my driver's license after almost a month of obsolescence (i am too lazy to have it renewed then). Now i can drive again. Well, i am happy not because i have a new id, but because of the process of renewal. I mean, it took me only an hour with the lamenated id already on my hand...that was fast comparing it 3 years ago when i had my old one...it took me almost a day for the process of the temporary id and five or six fucking long months for the lamenated one...pabalik-balik ka pa para i-follow up kung available na.

Previously, i did it in a small town here in Rizal...that was in LTO, Angono. A lot of swarming fixers, the rooms were congested, the place was in dis-array *you bet you can compare it to a tiangge market*, people are not that friendly. But now i decided to have it renewed here in LTO Pasig...Capitol of Rizal. The place was nicer, people were much friendlier, no fixers *miracle*, no red tapes, the office was more comforable. The system was good.

I have to say this to commend the good services i just had today. Syempre, pag nainis tayo sa isang departamento o agency ng gobyerno dahil masama at bulok ang serbisyo, nagrereklamo tayo, naiinis pero pag nakatanggap naman at nasiyahan sa magandang serbisyo, i think it is but proper to praise them...LTO Pasig...two thumbs-up ka!!!

Ok, pwede na naman maglakwatsa...magdrive ng malayo-layo... yipee!

Magda-drive ako hanggang Baguio
Magda-drive ako hanggang Bicol
Magda-drive ako hanggang Batangas
Tapos magswi-swimming d'on sa beach

Isasama ko ang girlfriend ko
Isasama ko kahit sinong may gusto
Kahit may kasama siyang aso
Basta't meron siyang dalang sariling buto
Magdadala ako ng pagkain
Burger, fries, tapsilog at siopao

Magda-drive ako hanggang Visayas
Magda-drive ako hanggang sa Mindanao
Magda-drive ako buong taon
Magda-drive ako habang buhay
Magda-drive ako hanggang buwan

Please, please lang turuan mo akong mag-drive
Gusto kong matutong magdrive(kahit na walang kotse)
Gusto kong matutong magdrive(kahit na walang lisensya)

Bring the Boys Back Home

2004-11-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

I had a deep urge yesterday...an urge to jam with my friends. After work i had to say goodbye to my wife, grab my strato guitar with a set of distortion and go straight to my cousin's house in Marikina...my cousin, Van Eric, the good-looking dentist who, afterall these years, plays his drums like there is no tomorrow. My other friends were there to complete the cast. I have to travel by jeepney, i am too lazy to drive and my driver license has expired anyway (october 14 was the last day of that card...too lazy to drive, too lazy to renew). Anyway, there are other ways to reach your destination. You drive, you walk, you run, ride a jeep, run a bike, fly...riding a jeep is the easiest.

When i reached my cousin's house, the guys were there but i had to have my rest first, connect the cables then we started to play some hard classics for about 3 hours or so. Bosyo, my tropang bassist was gyrating all over giving some jumps and could probably thinking he is the Korn's axeman. I said..."what the hell...?". He just smiled and continued his war dance. I gestured a finger cycling just beside my temple (means may topak ka na) and he got the meaning...his grin became wider, still continued his thing.

After the practice, all of us laid on the backyard grass for some rest. Then we started talking about our past. The crazy things we did, our struggles and we had been giggling like kids again until the late night. We had been long friends for a long time, since we were at our teens. Bosyo is my best friend since high school. He is the easy-go-lucky guy, he was crazy all the time, and still crazy up to now. No doubt, we call him the "wacko". And would you believe, he is a university teacher somewhere at the belt. Then there is Dinky, another high school friend who just came from Baguio for his 2-week vacation from work (a system engineer at the Texas Instruments). He is the serious type among us but plays the guitar at his best. He is our guardian, the "manong". Gerry, the throats, the unemployed guy, "palamunin ng magulang" but the most mabait (geek) among us. Speaks few words but easily grasps the lyrics in any song of interests. Van Eric, my cousin dentist, the handsome chickboy who thinks he is John Bonham...his motto: "Mind over Metal". The weird guy, who is always in-love, he oftens calls me to tell "insan, na first-love na naman ako"... (he'll kill me if he reads this). But mind you, one of the best drummers i've seen. Raul (remember the Si-Raul-O guy from bulacan, our long lost friend)...didn't make it, he is too pre-occupied.

We are brothers then, we are still brothers now. We had our share of laughter and tears, the struggles we've been through and each of us moulded to be tough to survive...Gerry, our poor friend who seldom have money in his pocket, is always grateful we are always there for him...we give him our support. Van Eric, though he is already a dentist still have a lot of immaturities, but we give him our understanding and guidance. This is friendship....though we don't have common objectives with our lives...friendship kept us one. Friends could come and go for whatever reasons there may be...but the spirit stays.

Remembering Them

2004-11-02T18:21:00.000+08:00

Finally, All Souls Day is over...that was supposed to be held every 2nd of November. November 1 is the All Saints Day, a day for all the saints but as we practice, we honor our love ones who passed on the 1st. Oh well, it doesn't have to be on this day only...we have to remember them everyday, as much as possible. They were part of our lives...we would soon meet them (again?) on the other life.

I wasn't able to go home in our province to celebrate the holiday and visit the tombs of my Lolo, Lola, my sister and cousin. I just compensated my shortcoming by remembering them and offering them prayers. My folks understood that i won't be able to go home with my family, OIC kasi ako dito sa planta...bantay ng operation. I just spent my half-day on the tomb of my wife's uncle here at Antipolo. Inabot kami hanggang 9 pm bago umuwi sa bahay.

Laki na talaga ng pinagbago ng mga sementeryo ngayun at kung 'pano natin i-celebrate ang All Souls...comparing it 3 years, 4 years ago, mapapansin mo talaga. Pasikip na ng pasikip sa sementeryo...dati nagbabaon kami ng banig at nailalatag mo. Nakakatulog pa ako noon na unat ang paa. Kahapon, sisksikan na. Maghapon akong nakaiskwat na lang at talagang sumakit ang paa at pwet ko. Kaya pag-drive ko pauwi, talagang nakaramdam ako ng pagod.

Isa pang obserbasyon ko eh, medyo westernized na ang selebrasyon natin ngayon...ang mga kabataan, nagpaparaktis na rin ng Trick or Treat at 'yong iba ay nasa Halloween party na nakasuot pa ng iba't ibang costume. Well, wala namang masama dun, maganda nga eh...bu i hope na magtira rin tayo ng kaunting kaugalin tulad ng pagbisita nga sa mga mahal nating pumanaw at mag-offer ng dasal...afterall, para sa kanila naman ang araw na 'to.

Kagabi nga, naghatid ako ng mga bagets dito sa aming lugar papuntang kabayanan. May halloween party dun kaya ginawa akong driver. Well, ok lang yun...pinagdaanan ko naman ang ganun.

Sana, next year, makauwi naman ako sa probinsya para makabisita talaga ako sa mga puntod ng aking mga mahal at syempre family reunion din yun at para makita ko naman ang mga barkada ko. dun.

Power of a Filipino

2004-10-28T13:27:00.000+08:00

Ey, guys...a good friend needs our support. His site is one of the entries, in fact hoping to be in the finals at the 7th Philippine Web Awards (PWA). A representation of a Filipino ingenuity on Web Designing...the power of creative imagination. This is John Louie's pet called Superluwi.com.

Come on friends, nothing to lose...we could cast our votes at the PWA site by registering first, then we could give our people's choice vote. I am in no way connected with the PWA, just a friend who gives his wishes to another friend.

Many thanks to you all!

Funny Yet Grand

2004-10-25T13:39:00.000+08:00

Saturday
My wife and I had to travel to Baliuag, Bulacan to attend the wedding of an officemate, it was a 3-hour long drive from Rizal. I am not familiar with this town, kaya maraming beses kaming nawala...we have to ask every person we could find and ask for directions. Time is of the essence and we have to be on time. The ceremony was supposed to be starting at 4:30 pm (as stated on the invitation) and exactly, we were on time.

At the time we were in front of the church's gate, there was already a couple (in a kneeling position) at the altar facing the priest who was initiating the ceremony. My wife, who was one of the "ninangs", and I thought the wedding that we are supposed to attend to had already been started...so, I told her to just proceed and sit with the other sponsors. And so we did. Everybody were all eyes on us just to learn that it was somebody's wedding. Sa susunod pa pala yung kasal ng kakilala namin! I looked at my wife's eyes and without word, we both stood up poised, and exited from the church. We just gave a good laugh on what had happened...anyway, it was an honest mistake, a good experience.

The wedding started at around 5:30 pm at the Mt. Carmel Church, one of the nicest church i've seen. The groom, as i've said is my officemate and the lovely bride (standing at around 5'10" tall) is a native of that town. She belongs to a well-to-do family and in fact a niece of the town's mayor. What really amused me is how the couple prepared for their wedding...it is a grand one, flowers everywhere, chandeliers lighted, rose petals were scattered at the feet of the bride as she marches towards the altar, mass booklets distrubuted to everyone, dresses of the sponsors were nicely done. The ceremony was very solemn and orderly.

Reception followed in a local resort and the food was superb...hay, sarap, talagang nabusog ako. It is so inspiring to see a wedding so sincere, so archaic, so grand i wish i could marry again...not with another women but again to my wife...siyempre.

Sunday
This made my kids' day...i brought them to a nearby resort for a dip. I called my barkada and everybody enjoyed the sun and the water. Ah, life..still gratifying at times like these!

Missing the Starting Gun

2004-10-19T10:33:00.000+08:00

I was sooooo pissed today! I was supposed to have a meeting with the task force on Energy Consumption and Conservation here at our office, and i was in the office as early as 10 minutes before. It has been my attitude to be on time, if not a bit earlier to any commitment...be it a meeting in the office or even outside to meet someone. Mahihiya na ang mukha ko pag ako'y ma-late.

But what made me irritated today was that some guys don't care about your time, they lack respect, man. Some showed up 10 minutes late, a guy even showed up 30 minutes after the agreed time, the worst was that some guys didn't even showed up at all...damn! And we say...ahhh, life's too cruel, life's too difficult nowadays...our country's really poor, we're not moving forward (big bulls**t) and we don't even bother to do something about it, even with a mere respect of other's time. I hate these guys, man...

I hope they come across this post and knock their senses...they should know (they are old enough), time is one of the most precious resources. It is valuable. Time waits for no one and probably, nobody wants it wasted. It defines the beginnings and ends, and what we fill it up with, is what we get out of our lives. The sad reality is that we have all the time there is and yet we are not making more of it.

There are a lot of ways in respecting one's time. Preparing ahead of time is one, unpreparedness is a big waste. Of course, being on time and keeping on track...staying too long is also not good. And what do we get: a good reputation that will build an atmosphere of trust and goodwill.

Respecting time doesn't just help the other person...it reflects greatly on you as well. (Hayyyy, nakakalungkot at nakakaburat na rin kung minsan *buntong-hininga*)

Paalam...Kaibigan

2004-10-15T11:12:00.000+08:00

Bertdey ko nung nakaraang araw...maraming bumati at marami ring nakalimot, pero suma total...masaya at kumpleto araw ko. Siyempre, ang aking misis, mga anak at magulang ang unang bumati, at nakatanggap rin ng regalo mula sa kanila maski papano. Maaga akong nagsimba at nagpasalamat sa ating Ama sa walang hanggang biyayang di nya naipagkakait. Isang pahina na naman ng aking buhay ang mag-uumpisa...pinagdasal ko pagkagising ng araw na yun, na sana'y tulungan at gawin pa nya akong mas mabuting kristyano.

Syempre, kailangan regaluhan ko rin aking ang sarili...una, maghapon akong di nagtrabaho. Binigyan ko rin ng "break" ang aking sarili. At pangalawa, naipangako ko sa aking sarili na kakalimutan ko na ang aking bisyo..."ang aking paninigarilyo". Nakadalawang araw na rin akong nagtitiis na walang hithit...mahirap at di ako mapakali pero kailangan kong tiisin. Hangga't maaari, di ko na babalikan ito. Matagal-tagal ko na rin binisyo ang sigarilyo at kung kukwentahin mo ang naipambili ko nito, baka nakapagpa-aral na ito ng isang "Nursing". Di naman ako yung tipong sugapa, sampung (10) sticks lang ang average ko sa maghapon...di ko kayang umubos ng isang kaha, pero, marami man o kaunting sticks ang ating nakukunsumo...bisyo pa rin yun. Walang pinagkaiba.

Kelan ba ako unang nanigarilyo...tagal na...3rd year high school...paisa-isa (at patago sa magulang...tagpas ang ulo ko pag nahuli akong me yosi). Ewan kung anong dahilan noon, siguro paporma, barkada. Nahuli nga ako minsan ng aking tatay, kalaboso inabot ko. Pagtungtong sa kolehiyo, ayan na...sineryoso ko na, palagi na akong me nakabulsang yosi. Lalo pa sa Baguio kung saan ako nag-aral, masarap at malamig ang simoy...napakasarap manigarilyo, walang pait. Mga barkada ko, mahihilig rin...pag wala na pambili, hati-hati na kami sa isang stick. Maalala ko pa, pag naninigarilyo ka at sinabihan ka na 50-50...ibig sabihin nun, ipasa mo na sa kanya ang yosi pag nangalahati na, sigurado 'ala siyang pambili.

Pagpasok ko sa trabaho, puro maninigarilyo rin kasama ko rito...talagang di makaiwas, puro kasi kami lalake rito. Noon di ko na tinago sa magulang ko ang bisyo...sarili ko na kasing pera ang pambili. Pero, sermon pa rin inaabot ko pag nakikita ako ng nanay ko...masama raw sa katawan, etc, etc...pero labas lang sa kaliwang tenga...Sabi ko sa sarili ko, "ngayun pa ba ako aayaw, eh malaki na ang puhunan ko rito"...hahaha

Noong bata kasi ako, siguro mga edad 11, mahilig kasing magpasindi ng sigarilyo ang aking lolo (sumalangit nawa). Pag nakatapos na yun ng tanghalian o hapunan, tatawagin na ako at magpapasindi na ng isang stick sa kusina, tamad siyang magsindi para sa sarili. Pagbigay ko sa kanya, baka nakadalawa o tatlo na akong hithit..."kasalanan mo 'to lolo, di mo namamalayan, naitri-training mo na pala ako pagyosi".

Pero nakakasawa na rin...parang inoobliga ko ang sarili ko na bago pumasok sa trabaho, eh me nakabulsa ng yosi na baon. Nagsasawa na utak ko pero hinahanap naman ng katawan...bisyo na talaga. Kaya isang buwan bago sumapit ang aking bertdey, pinangako ko sa sarili ko na titigilan ko na talaga ito, alam ko kaya ko naman ito. Sinabihan ko rin ang misis ko na alalayan ako't baka siya'y malingat, eh me hawak na naman akong yosi. Noong isang gabi...sinunod-sunod ko ang sindi, pinagsawa ko talaga sarili ko bilang pamamaalam sa aking paninigarilyo.

Pangalawang araw ko nang walang yosi...nawa'y di ako sumuway sa aking pangako. Kung kaya ng iba, sigurado kaya ko...

What I Did, What I did Not

2004-10-11T10:49:00.000+08:00

I Love Sundays
Yesterday, Sunday, was a good day for me...it was time to sweat all that lard of fat off my belly.

As early as 5:00 am, my family and I together with a friend's family drove to Roxas Blvd, at the CCP Complex for some streching. A lot of people were there too for the same purpose or whatsoever. You could see a lot of activities, it is up to you on what would be your desired physical exertion or just hang around to clear all the clouds of pressure in your mind.

A lot of girls & guys danced their hearts out with aerobics and taebo...that i also did (also had a chance to peek at some of the world's nicest, curvaceous butts...i am a pervert, sometimes, if i have a chance) .

Some did fishing on the shores...that i didn't do (i'd rather go to the market and buy some fish, "effortless").

Some wandered around with their bikes...that i did minus the bike.

Some had their cute puppies and dogs for a walk...that i didn't, i have dog phobia.

Some kung fu dudes practiced their styles...that i didn't do, that is not my stuff.

Some whispered their sweet nothings on the shore...that I did, too (of course with my wife...who else?... i practice fidelity!)

A lot of families had a picnic under the trees...that we did (i liked the prepared "tapang kalabaw").

Some guys just laid on the grass for a continued sleep or stare at the sky for some daydreaming...that i did, i was daydreaming on how to get rich.

Next stop was Luneta for some sights...i just laid there on the grass and continued my daydreams. After which, kinumusta ko si Rizal (as suggested by Pareng Pepe...ok lang daw siya, "si Rizal"...visit him if you have a chance).

I love Luneta...lugar para sa mga taong gustong mamasyal kahit na walang pera, kagaya ko.

Afterwards, we had to go home, my wife had to drive, i still have to continue my daydreams in the car...then rest and slept for the rest of the day, Amen!

I Hate Mondays
A song from the Boomtown Rats, I really, really hate this day of the week & often suffer Monday sickness...

I Don't Like Mondays

The silicon chip inside her head.
Gets switched to overload,
And nobody's gonna go to school today,
She's going to make them stay at home,
And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said she was as good as gold,
And he can see no reason.
Cos there are no reasons.
What reason do you need to be shown.

Tell me why.
I Dont't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
The whole day down.

The Telex machine is kept so clean.
As it types to a waiting world,
And Mother feels so shocked,
Father's world is rocked,
And their thoughts turn to.
Their own little girl.
Sweet 16 ain't that peachy keen,
No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat,
They can see no reasons.
Cos there are no reasons.
What reason do you need to be shown,

Tell me why.
I Dont't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
The whole day down.

All the playing's stopped in the playground now,
She wants to play with her toys a while.
And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how to die,
And then the bullhorn crackles,
And the captain crackles,
With the problems and the how's and why's
And he can see no reasons
Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to die

Tell me why.
I Dont't like Mondays.
I want to shoot.
The whole day down.

Signs of the Times

2004-10-04T10:05:00.000+08:00

I had a chance to visit a long lost friend, Raul, last Sunday in Bulacan. He was in fact one of my 10-man barkada back in college. He called me up one time asking me to visit his house (got my number from one of the barkada) and get to know his family. So, I did, had a long drive together with my family to meet him...and was a bit amused on what i've seen...

Way back then, Raul was the kind of guy you don't want to mess around with...he was the so called "Bad Boy" in our school, intimidating everyone...because of his built and the way he lives his life. He was a known figure in the university's Guidance & Counseling office because of his notorious behavior...everybody then simply calls him "siRAUL-o". The school could not just kick him out...though he was a pain in the ass, he got brains, too. We were his only friends then, in fact his best friends, maybe because we understood him and we treated him as our brother...we had accepted him of what he was. The good thing about him was that he will never abandon you, defend you from your enemies and would in fact sacrifice his own life just for the sake of friendship. That was proven when one of our friend got a heated arguement in a small bar in Baguio...Raul did all the work, beat all the enemies black and blue...he really crushed them. He was in jail for a week because of that incident. After that, he gave his word: " that was all for you, never will i abandon you 'til the end"...indeed, this guy is fearless, a tough one, we thought.

One time i asked why on earth does he act like that...his reply was: "it is for my own survival...I got no family, my mom & dad were separated when i was young and now they have their own families, i have no relatives here...i only got you, my friends"...he is in solitude. So, from 2nd year until the end of college, the 10 of us were unseparable...we would share everything, from food, clothing and even our deep secrets...through thick and thin (kabutihan at kalukohan), we were brothers. But at the moment our eyes are not set on him, he would continue his wicked ways. That was his natural.

But the company has to end...after the last semester, nine of us have to come here in Manila for our board exam review. He was left in Baguio to finish some unfinished subjects...it was the most painful feeling we had...as much as possible, we would like to be with him but that was not possible...our lives have to move on. All he had to say before we parted was: " take care of yourselves, i would not be there to protect you...don't worry about me here. We would see each other again, someday."

Last Sunday, the first time i saw him again, we embraced for a minute...i was very, very glad to see him. I was in fact, in awe for while...the fearless guy is now a changed man...his face was pleasant, without his mustache trademark, he dresses well (not unlike before, shirts with soiled pants...very rugged), soft spoken...di na barumbadong magsalita at mahinhin ng gumalaw. He has a lovely wife with two healthy kids, and now a manager in a telecommunications company. I shoke my head and smiled when i saw him cook and fixed the table for our lunch...i have to approach him and ask, "pare, di ako makapaniwala...akala ko sa preso kita makikita, pero ang ganda na ng buhay mo ngayun. Anong nagyari ?". He replied: " pare, tinandaan ko yung huli mong sinabi sa akin noon bago tayo naghiwalay...na kung hindi ko babaguhin ang buhay ko, habang buhay akong magulo. Sinabi mo nun na mangarap ako, kaya ito ako...nagkaresulta na rin yun mga pangarap. Salamat sa 'yo, pare...ikaw ang pinaniwalaan ko noon". After that, he gave me another brothery hug...i felt very happy for him.

While writing this post, a song suddenly came into me...it was an old favorite from Van Halen, "Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)"... and it goes like this:

Had the whole town scared to death
When he walked by, they all held their breath
He's a fightin' man, sure enough
And then Bill got himself a wife, now he leads a different life
Big Bad Bill is Sweet William now

Married life done changed him somehow
He's the man the town used to fear
Now they all call him Sweet Papa Willy Dear
Stronger than Sampson I declare
'Til a brown-skinned woman's bobbed his hair

Big Bad Bill don't fight anymore (No, no, no)
He's doin the dishes an' moppin' up that floor (Yes he is)
Well he used to go out drinkin' lookin' for a fight
Now he gotta see that sweet woman every night
Big Bad Bill is Sweet William now

Dreams of Reason

2004-10-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

...we found our names in a dream
we had farmhouse coffee and cream
colors and visions the test supreme
we made our lives your dreams...

Drunk Stoned High Wasted

2004-09-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

I was really wasted yesterday night...had too much drink with my barkada in Antipolo. We were invited in one of a wealthy contractor's birthday. A sumptuous food was served with a whole "lechon na baka", still in its roasting bar as the main attraction on the table. Beer was flooding, no bottles, all in a beer dispenser and the theme that night is "drink all you can". But I opted to drink brandy, three of us consumed a 1.5-liter fundador while listening to a local band. The young dudes were mediocre playing smorgasbord songs...yeah, i didn't like it...everything was in disarray, feedbacks were there, mixing was worst, the sound was really poor...tunog lata, pero ok lang...maigi sa wala. Pinaka-badtrip, me nagvolunteer kumanta, ang pyesa..."Butsikek" ni Yoyoy Villame, nakakatawa pa, ang pangalan raw nya eh si "Donotbuy". Gusto pang humirit, Philippine Geography raw, inayawan ng banda at di alam ang tipa. Muntik ko ng agawin ang microphone at ipukpok sa ulo nya.

After the last drop of brandy, i felt i was really tired and drunk...i would know it if i am starting to talk too much. We left the party at aroung 1:30 am but ended up in a local videoke bar for some "washing"...we call it panghugas and beer would be the drink. I had a couple of them + 1 angel sitting right beside me, just cheap talks, nothing more. The last beer really wasted me and i didn't know what happened next...it was already 4:00 in the morning when i got home.

I didn't report for work today...hilong-hilo pa ako, the best i've done so far was sleep the whole day. Lubog na ang araw ng gumising ako kanina. Nasabi pati ng misis ko na napakasarap naman ng buhay ko sa araw na to...naglasing, di nagtrabaho at tulog maghapon. My reply was..."akala mo madaling uminon, sige, ikaw ang uminom at maglasing, tignan natin kung kaya mo". But it was only a joke and she understands....i don't do this as a habit, occasional lang.

Just a while back i drove my wife & kids at Jolibee ni Morong, Rizal for a treat...yan ang tinatawag na pangsuhol. One good thing about the drink last night..."nagtira ako ng pang-uwi" and mind you, i also follow the "10 commandments para sa manginginom"...it would really guide you, i guess.

Self-Portrait

2004-09-24T22:04:00.000+08:00

Metal's self-portrait ? Hell, no! It was just the result of my big boredom during today's training...the so called "Restore Training" here at the plant's conference room. It was all about finance, purchasing procedures, accounting, capital budget, etc, etc...which it didn't interest me that much this morning. My mind was wandering out of this world i haven't paid any attention to what the resource speaker was talking about.

I wasn't aware i was holding a paper and a pencil, with my mind alienated, sketching this silly thing. I have this fondness of sketching weird creatures, myth characters...anything scary....i don't know why. Pa-baduy na ng pabaduy ang post ko talaga....

A Grand Time in Laguna

2004-09-22T15:54:00.000+08:00

Nakakaburat na...ngayun, mula 8:00 am hanggang 3:30 pm, wala akong ginawa kundi gumawa ng monthly report, masakit na mga mata at puwet ko. Malapit na ang katapusan, hangga't maari di pa dumarating ang month-end, inuumpisahan ko nang gumawa...di ko style yung naghahabol ng mga report pag katapusan na, mas masakit sa ulo. "Cramming" ika nga. Retired na ako sa style na yun...estudyante pa ako ugali ko na, inalis ko na yun. Pampaalis muna ng suya, eto...makapagsulat nga ng blog.

I have nothing in particular to brag at this moment...ah, maibida na lang ang gimik ko nung linggo. It was one of the grandest time I had for a long time. Me and six of my barkadas (together with our respective families) had a trip to Lumban, Laguna, the home of lansones and rambutan. We drove our cars in "convoy" for a 2-hour trip to a certain "hot spring" resort. The place was very simple yet it was one of the most serene places i've seen...lots of trees (rambutan, lansones & whatever), fruits, some wildlife in cages (wild boar, snakes, lots of birds, monkeys, etc). Most in particular is the fresh air which is much, much cleaner than here at the plant. You'd feel a big relief when the wind blows on you...my lungs felt the comfort it brings.

The water was so fresh, the pool was filled up just when we arrived. I had a good time with my wife and kids at talagang nag-enjoy sila sa lugar na yun, pati pag-kain, super sarap...inihaw na tilapia na gumagalaw pang binili sa palengke sa lugar na yun. Meron ding inihaw na bangus, talong + kamatis + alamang, barbeque, sinigang na babuy, kilawin tanigue, pansit, mga prutas at ewan kung anu pa yung iba. Naglublub ako sa tubig maghapon (di ako lumanguy at di naman ako marunong) at talagang nakaramdam ako ng ginhawa...malayo sa trabaho, malayo sa traffic, malayo sa mga asungot sa paligid, maski panandalian lang.

Natutuwa ako sa mga anak ko at sa mga anak ng mga barkada ko...di mo maipinta ang kasiyahan sa kanilang mga mukha. Alam ko di lang sa tubig o sa lugar na yun ang naging kaligayahan nila kundi ang makita nila na ang buong pamilya maski gaano kahirap ang buhay ay sama-sama...maski sa panadaliang kasiyahan lamang.

Tama nga si Sampaguita..."Laguna, nang ito ay marating ko, para bang ako'y nagbago...kakaibang damdamin"

Sampung Utos sa Manginginom

2004-09-19T19:10:00.000+08:00

Habang ako'y nagpapapalit ng "clucth disc" ng sasakyan nung sabado dun sa talyer ni Mang Toti, me napansin akong isang papel na nakapaskil sa isang dingding habang naghihintay. Medyo na-amuse ako kaya't minarapat kong kopyahin at ibahagi. Tinanung ko si Mang Toti kung sino me gawa nito...sabi nya, silang mga mekaniko...naniniwala ako dahil ugali kasi nilang mag-inom ng Tanduay o Emperador pagkatapos ng maghapong trabaho.

Sampung Utos para sa mga Tomador

Huwag makulit habang umiinom.
Huwag matakaw sa pulutan. Ito'y pangsapin lang at di panghapunan.
Huwag patagalin ang baso sapagkat me naghihintay rin sa susunod na tagay...ika nga, "di baling magtagal sa suso, huwag lang sa baso".
Huwag matutulog habang nag-iinom.
Di basta umiinom o nakikiinom lang, bumili rin. Sa madaling salita, mag-ambag ka.
Ilagay ang alak sa tiyan, huwag sa ulo.
Huwag pakalasing, magtira ng pang-uwi.
Huwag basta aalis habang nag-iinom, magpaalam naman.
Siguraduhing sa bahay ang diretso pag-uwi.
Huwag mananakit ng asawa, lambingin lamang ito at kung maari ay suhulan ng maski ano (halimbawa, pansit) para payagan ulit sa susunod na paalam sa pag-iinom.

Nagtataka si Mang Toti habang kinukopya ko ito, sabi ko'y ikakalat ko ito...malay mo baka makatulong pa ito sa iba. Nangingiting bumalik sya dun sa kanyang ginagawa.

metal's Dreadful Ordeals

2004-09-16T18:14:00.000+08:00

I have to reveal these scary, if not, painful experiences out to get these off my nerves...

Once Bitten, Twice Shy: When i was 8 years old, i was fond of picking up "tansans" (bottle tops) in the neighborhood, pound them flat and convert it into an improvised tamborine. Sometimes these tops are good as bets in "tatsing". While walking along an empty street, in front of a big nipa house...a group of dogs (five of them), i still remember it clearly, came running towards me each giving their own bite. Had 25 anti-rabbies shot after that. After a year, my pet puppy accidentally bit me...had another 25 shots. Three years ago (from now), after a drinking session, a neighbor's dog (who had just given birth) run after me and gave me her share...6 shots in a row. That's 25+25+6...56 shots (too painful). Result is, i have now this dog trauma...whenever i see one, i sweat profusely and call all the saints that i know. It's thrice bitten, twice shy.

Billy's Got a Gun: It was a summer of my 2nd year in college, a friend called me up one night telling me to meet him in a secluded local bar in Baguio. We were meeting a guy for a talk with some illegal business (please don't ask about the business, it's hallucinating) so i had to go there. There was my friend with an odd-looking, goon-looking guy just sitting beside him. We had a couple of beer while talking some business, then my friend just said..."my friend here can play a guitar and sing", i think he uttered that because the bar has a small stage with a couple of instruments at rest. The guy requested me to sing a few, but i refused telling him that i feel awkward. The guy just pulled out a gun, put it the table and said, "it's your choice...kakanta ka o hindi". I don't know what's got into him. No choice...i have to pick up the acoustic guitar, put my butt on the stool at the stage and sang: Himig Natin (by J dela Cruz), Dust in the Wind (by Kansas) and Operator (by Croce), last one was Sweet Baby James by James Taylor (i loved folk songs then). Yeah, singing while looking at a gun on a table. I almost fainted afterwards.

Trial by Fire: 1994, two days before New Year, me and my family went home to Pangasinan (from Rizal) for a family reunion. My brother with his family (just came from Canada) were there, our eldest sister with her family (who just came from US) and our youngest sister are all present, with our Mom & Dad. We were having a grand conversation at the sala then an unusual sound just came off the ceiling..."ksssssst". It was an electrical failure, and after a while, our house, just newly painted in preparation on my siblings arrival from abroad, was up in smoke...the house was on fire. We all scramppled out of the house and watch it engulfed by fire. Each one of us was crying, nothing was saved, even a single clothing, we have to stay at my aunt's house for the meantime. What a reunion, too tragic...after a year, we started rebuilding a new house for my folks. Now they're ok.

In Sickness & in Health: I had this illness in the year 1996, i'm damn sick i had to leave work and had a pain taking medicine for two months. It was the lowest moment of my life, i though i'd die. But God was so good, he gave me my second chance...and i'm not wasting it.

Daddy's Alright: 2004, the greatest fear i had...when Dad fainted in an FX taxi after a run around at a mall in the province. He was brought to a nearby hospital but was advised we'd bring him to the Philippine Heart Center. The doctor made an advise for us not to waste time and look for some blood donors, 15 healthy men minimum. He was tentatively diagnosed of a very rare heart disease...a very difficult situation and chances were very slim...we all broke down. I've called everyone that i know for some blood, i was hiding my emotions then making myself strong. When everything was ready, the doctors made their final diagnostics (very expensive tests and laboratories). One day, he called us telling that the first findings were incorrect and that Dad's not that ill, he's free from his heart operation. Suddenly the sun shone, birds were singing and i felt a mountain just came off my back. Indeed, it was a miracle and we were all crying with joy. God is truly great and Dad's now as healthy as a horse.

I was thinking of another part of this post which is "metal's Dark Secrets"...but nah, that'll be too personal. I have countless of them, very, very dark, indeed...but i'll keep it in my closet for a while, bring these with me to my grave. This will be my last post if i do that.

Kapitan Kidlat

2004-09-15T02:43:00.000+08:00

Haaay, ano ba naman ito, kuya...talagang minamalas ako nitong linggong ito. Panay tigil itong operation at di na normal tong pangaraw-araw na buhay ko. Magmula kahapon hanggang ngayun, panay palya ang isang "frequency drive" dito at di ko pa makita ang dahilan. Matindi na ang pressure ng mga big boss at di na sila nasisiyahan. Dalawang gabi na akong di natutulog dahil dito sa bwakang na problema. Pag electrical ang issue o dahilan ng isang "trouble", napakahirap hanapin ang pinagmulan...buti sana kung sunog ang isang control card, at least kita mo na...papalitan mo na lang, pero wala eh, basta na lang titirik...buset talaga.

Nag-umpisa kasi ang lahat ng isang lunes ng hapon eh umulan ng malakas, galit na galit na hinaluan ng malalakas na kidlat. Mula noon, nagkalintik na 'tong drive na to. Ngayun, nangangapa pa rin ako. Gusto ng pumikit ng mga mata ko at makatikim naman ng kaunting tulog pero paano...di pa rin nahuhuli ang problema. Tanging ina naman oo...

Pasensya na sa mga magaspang na salita, habang sinusulat ko to, pinapahinga ko lang ang utak ko na ewan kung me laman pa o puno na ng kalituhan. Naisulat ko na nga lang itong pakiramdam ko para maibsan naman at pagbalik ko mamaya dun sa problema kong drive, medyo maluwag uli sa dibdib.

Isa pa nga..."Cooking ng ina"...agrrr!

Alas dos y medya na ng umaga...tulog na ang nga angel samantalang narito pa rin ako sa trabaho pero di ko naman aayawan ito. Ika nga, ang umaayaw, di nagwawagi. Kaya ko 'to...sabi nga nung isang reteradong boss ko dati..."kaya mo yan, gawa lang ng tao yan!". Sige!

Inner Voice (In the eyes of a blogger)

2004-09-09T18:45:00.000+08:00

It has been two months now since I have started this blogsite, and in that span I have learned so much, from scratch, I was able to costumize the layout on what i feel best represents me. I have never imagine about getting into CSS and HTML tweaks, more so with some Macromedia and photo editing applications , but look, I am beginning to interest and understand these. Learning new things gives you a better outlook in life. But the main point of this experience is the way to handle things...how you express your thoughts, your feelings or sentiments and your understanding, the capacity of rational thought or perceptions.

Technically, blogging (from the word "Weblog") defined as a personal, even commercial site that uses a date format containing links and commentaries for others' views. The main content are the webmaster's aritcles which are regularly updated...too shallow.

In my point, it is a personal site of people's inner thoughts and their emotions (be it good or bad), honest views, observations, confusions, accomplishements, hapiness, desperations, solitudes, inspirations, beliefs, etc. It is their personal being that is symbolized and everyone is priviliged to have a view of them... it'll be up to us to interpret and reflect on these messages, dig and learn from them. I have read a lot of blogger's posts, seen a number of their sites and begin to understand how others define the meaning of life...some take it too seriously and some in contrast articulate it lightly. Some speak of morbidity, some speak of enduring memories, a lot are intellegent writers with excellent posts, some say it in few words, some are very objective, some are carefree and even some talk about their sex lives, defining every details...but I say, all of them are unpretentious people expressing their genuine thoughts. It would be up to us, readers, to construe their meaning and reflect on these purposes. It would definitely make us more wiser and appreciative.

The most striking thing about blogging is "meeting" a lot of "virtual friends", accepting their existence and trying to learn from them. It has been surprising to discover how people connect with each, how they think, how they react, how each one walks in when the world walks out. Indeed, though mysterious, life is not so lonely after all...

In Honor of Baknoy's Query

2004-09-04T01:37:00.000+08:00

As promised on the "Age of Innocence" comments'...it would be an honor to answer baKNOY's queries. He wasn't the first to ask but I guess it would be the time to tell about the evolution of "metal_ears". Just the fun of it, ok?

To quote baKNOY's' comment:
"hmm..tanong ko lang..
are we suppose to grow out of that?
if so, when?
and why is your blog black?
and why is it called metal ears?
do you really have metal ears?
are they heavy?
do they hurt?
why am i asking so much?
oh my. go...i haven't grown out of it yet...
and im already 21..hehehe peace metal!
babe is cool. he's a pig, and he talks. nuff said!
have a nice day."

To answer:
Q: Are we suppose to grow out of that? (i guess, referring to the perpetual questioning of a child)
- surely no, we aren't suppose to grow out of that. Life is a never ending conquest for truth. From the Nike ad: " There is no finish line!".

Q: If so, when?
- No, no, no please...don't stop asking questions. Dead brains only do that.

Q: And why is your blog black?
- Well, from the basic Web Design tips, "try colors, styles and fonts that compliment each other"...Since metal_ears is my alias, surely i would go with the color that represents metal (pink will be a no, no). I thought of silver, nah (too dry)...blue, hmm...could be, black? why not...a lot of metal sites have black backgrounds, and red often comes with it...yes, Black, a Red and Gray with a little touch of Yellow and Sky Blue. White font.

Q: Why is it called metal ears?
- Here it goes, when i was in 2nd year high school, i got this old CBS Sony heavy metal tape (various artists) from a friend. It was a good selection tape with likes of Cheap Trick, Aerosmith, Heart, Boz Scaggs, Ted Nugent, Euclid Beach Band, Bruce Springsteen and so on. It was so good, i really liked it. But the thing is, the tape's case was lost so i have to provide one and replenish the cover. I did a little drawing for the cover with some colors then thought of a title..."Selection" doesn't sound good, "Various Artists"...nah, too common, so i thought of...why not "For Metal Listeners". Title still lengthy so i finally thought. "Metal Ears". Yeah, sounds good...that's it..."METAL EARS". (corny no?...hahaha). But at least me pinagmulan. From then on, i kept the name (and kept the tape, too...it's sooo old, but still cool).

Q: Do you have metal ears?
- Yeah, i think so, not only that, even my heart posses that...i love heavy metal (from 19 kupongkupong 'til now). People say, too loud, noise pollution, addicts' sounds, I say to them "oh yeah, up yours, fuck your disco !"

Q: Are they heavy?
- Yeah, "unliterally", yeah...really heavy.

Q: Do they hurt?
- Absolutely nope...in fact, feels even better, it's anti-gravity, man!

Q: Why am i asking too much?
- Sure, baKNOY...because you're cool and normal. You still have that child within...like most of us.

To baKNOY, many thanks, bro...this post was inspired by you!

Age of Innocence

2004-09-02T11:47:00.000+08:00

I had a chance to watch an HBO program with my 5-year old kid last night. We were comfortably lying down in bed, his head resting on my shoulder as we watch. It was an old movie about the adventures of a talking pig, "Babe", together with its assorted talking animal friends. Well, this is not the first time that my son had watched this movie, surely he must have seen it a couple of times but he really adores these types. He would, in fact tell you what would happen on the next scene or episode. I, too was mermerize with it...imagine, a pig talking to a dog, together working as a sheepdog?

But the funny thing is that, through the span of the movie, he had this attitude of perpetual questionings, asking everything he sees or anything deemed necessary to satisfy his curiosity. He must have asked questions a hundred or so...every minute that if ever you lack a good-natured tolerance, surely you would blow your top.

He would ask:

Ian: Papa, bakit may putik ang paa ni "Babe"?

Me: Kasi, naglaro at naghabulan sila ng aso.

Ian: Eh, bakit sila naglaro ng aso?

Me: Magkaibigan kasi sila kaya sila naglalaro.

Ian: Bakit sila magkaibigan?

Me: Kasi magkasama lang sila sa isang bahay kaya sila magkaibigan.

Ian: Bakit sila magkasama sa bahay?

Me: Eh, kasi nga magkaibigan sila...

He pauses for a second, then here it goes again...

Ian: Bakit sila magkaibigan?

Me: Ian, manood ka na lang...

Handling children's questions is a skill, it requires thought about the questions being asked identifying the likely motive for asking it and the knowledge on how to turn a question into a useful starting point of an investigation. One article that I read is that, some of the children's questions should not be answered directly but must be handled to stimulate a discussion between the two of you. That would in fact contributes the developement of his thinking.

One sample is that:

Child: How do birds weave their nests?

Dad: They're clever...

Child: Birds are clever with their beaks. Nobody would ever think because they're small.

Dad: Yes, it's wonderful, isn't it?

From the part of our conversation last night, obvioulsy I don't have the skill, yet it would be best to try and learn the best answer to every child's questioning. Who knows, we might learn more from these kids.

Miracle Happens

2004-08-30T11:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Sunday was an unlikely day for me. Nothing unusual came about but Sundays for me were unexceptional with the usual late get-up-and-out-of bed syndrome, a coffee...back to bed again for another round of sleep until it is time for lunch, take a bath, read some of the news, then dip in bed for some more sleep 'til the sun begins to fall the horizon. Hah! Hail the King!

Yet yesterday was incomparable breaking the usual...I have to put it in record.

Woke up at 6:30 am, drive my wife to the market for some fridge stuff, bought an "Inquirer" for some of the day's news.
Had a nice breakfast with bread + coffee + tuna omelet with a nicely done "nilatik" from the market.
Cleaned the house inside out. T'was a general cleaning making every inch of the floor really shine with all the stuff and crap organized in place. Hmm...that was something, didn't think i could actually do that.
Brought the car to Mang Toti's talyer for a clutch secondary master rubber and head cylinder gasket replacement. Two thousand pesos gone.
Drive the car home afterwards and had (again) a nice lunch with alimasag con ginataang langka and a grilled fish. Nice...I enjoyed that.
Had a cold shower.
Played Lego with my kids for an hour.
Dipped in bed for a 2-hour siesta...that is a must!
Went to church with the family. The priest’s sermon was about "Humility and Generosity"...that was something, I really liked how the priest delivered his sermon, interesting yet inspiring.
A nice dinner with some veggies and grilled pork.
Had a nice drink 'til 11 pm with an influential guy from Quezon City. He frequently visits us, his "barkada" after his golf session at the Valley Golf for a nice chat and cold beer.

Now, isn't that something? Who says miracles don't happen anymore? Haha...I do, and wait, man... I forgot to read the "Inquirer" I bought from the market...oh well, what a day...

Young Cadets

2004-08-25T18:27:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow would be the official start of the the training sessions, not for me but for the new cadet engineers of the plant. It is a company program wherein these cadets will be on a 2-year training and a contract was given to them that they cannot resign within this time (bah, security of tenure...ok ah!). After three weeks of interviews with the applicants, if I recall i have interviewed around 15 young graduates (all registered young electrical engineers, fresh, no experiences...wala pang sungay), two were chosen as cadets for the electrical department. One is from Mapua and the other is from PUP (i think they are good students as reflected on their transcipts...high grades and board exam results). Aside from these two, there were two more...one mechanical and the other, a chemical. Cadets...so young, aggresive and not so innocent.

I had a chance to review the scope of the cadetship program and was impressed on the way it has been planned and implemented.

1st 6 months: Exploraid, wherein the objective is get familiar with the environment, plant equipment and processes. Exploration & acquintance.

2nd 6 months: Tag-in, the objective is to merge with incumbent engineers & employees for a hands-on on the actual work.

3rd step: T-conference, wherein all cadets will meet in Malaysia to exchange views on the status of their training (there are actually 20 cadets of the company, 5 plants x 4 cadets, in the philippines and it also involves other plants within Asia which means a lot of cadets of different nationalities)

Final year: Level 1 Expertise, the objective is for them to identify their competencies, what field they'll excel (automation, instrumentation or process) and that would be the focus on their intensive training for one year to reach their level of expertise. After that...elevated to be an electrical supervisor.

As one of the mentors to these cadets, it would be a great job giving them advises & lessons for two long years. Yah, what the heck, it is our obligation to mould these young guys (kuya na kasi tayo). Nice program (and a decent pay, too) , a very good opportunity to those aspiring young professionals of the land.

Comfortably Numb

2004-08-22T10:55:00.000+08:00

It is another Sunday with a headache...had too much booze last night = hangover. T'was my wife's niece's B-day last night and some friends came to celebrate. I've sensed the event was turning out to be a bore so I have to liven up a bit ...buy some beers and a couple of liquor + cigarettes, bring out that old guitar and do some throats. Two of the guys got their guitars, too + a box for drum substitute. Everyone was up drinking and singing until my tounge was numb. Man, what a night...I guess everyone enjoyed the mini concert...hahaha.

Halo-halo...first, it was heavy bringing out some classics as Sabbath's Call of the Wild, and the likes of Zeppelin, Purple, Bon Jovi, UFO ( and some Tesla ala unplugged)...getting softer with some from Incubus, Greenday and Firehouse. Futher went down to some Folk from CSNY, Young, Dylan and America...then bam! Pinoy rock from Sampaguita to dela Cruz 'til it was time to call it a day after finishing Unbreak My Heart by Braxton (of course, it wasn't me who's singing).

Oh, well...very interesting ocassion...never thought the night wouldn't end, great party.

Asawa ko...pahingi ng kape + paracetamol....sakit ulo ko.......(napala ko!)

On your Birthday, Son

2004-08-17T11:04:00.000+08:00

My dear son, Angelo:

I have to write this letter; tomorrow will be your birthday. I got nothing in my pocket to buy you some grand things on your occasion, but a love of a father would certainly compensate this shortcoming. How time flies, it's been 5 years when God sent you to us...a very fine young and healthy boy full of vigor and enthusiasm. Sure, you and your Ate Alyssa are our greatest wealth.

I just couldn't resist, I had to cry when I first saw your face behind the mirrors...kept asking "is it real"? The emotions were just overwhelming, my tears just came unnoticed, I kept this sight to your Lola but I'm sure she must have noticed it anyway. Could it be that you were born four years later after your ate's birth or could it be that your mom almost had a miscarriage while she was bearing you? Truly, you are meant to be God's gift to us. Seems like I've waited for a lifetime.

As you grow older, let me ask you to be very patient with us, me and your mom. I cannot offer you the grandest things at this time but I am working on it...Papa's exerting all his capacities to realize this...I have to for you and your ate's sake. Sometimes I feel you hate me for neglecting you, no time to throw balls, too tired to play marbles or "tex" but please try to understand, too...I wear out sometimes, got some back pains after a hard day's work. But I'll be better, no excuses, no alibis...I have to reserve quality time and attention, for you, ate and your mom.

But please promise me, too...that you'll grow up to be a fine young man, a good Christian (as your name implies, Ian Angelo, Christian angel...I were the one who thought about this and gave you the name) remember all the lectures and good words your mom has been telling. Sometimes she nags too much but it'll guide you, as you grow older. Love and take care of your mom and sister and maintain to respect anybody. Treat every woman as princesses; they'll give you their utmost respect in return.

Lastly, realize your dreams, for those who can dream, there is no such place as faraway. Happy Birthday, son... I love you.

Papa

Kuwentong Barbero

2004-08-13T09:55:00.000+08:00

Nagkaroon din akong oras para magpagupit after a month...di ko na matiis ang buhok ko, para akong nangangati pag mahaba ang buhok...di ako sanay (retired na akong Jeprox). Di ko kasi naasikaso sa sobrang gawa sa trabaho lately (kadalasan 7 pm na kasi uwi ko). Kahapon, pinilit ko talaga na makauwi ng 4pm para naman sa gupit. Naisama ko na rin bunso ko para maputulan buhok nya, para na ring karayom na nagtayuan sa ulo. Sinuhulan ko pa para lang magpagupit (di nya type talaga pagupit kahapon, pilitan pa)...kaya ayun naibili ko tuloy ng holen at "spiderman flash cards". Mga bata talaga!

Mabalik tayo sa barbero, wala yung suki ko...tiwala pa naman ako sa kanya, magaling, mabilis at maayos, alam na nya style gupit ko. Ala nga kaya napilitan ako sa isa, kailangan lang bantayan mo putol nya baka maiba. Habang naggugupit sa akin at sa bunso ko nagkukwentuhan sila sa mga bagong issue ngayun...showbiz. Ang lupit ng mga ito kako...mga kalalaking tao, tsimis sa artista pinag-uusapan.

- - - - - -

Barbero 1: Naghiwalay na pala si Kris at Mark Lapid...sayang bagay pa naman sila.

Barbero 2: Napagtanto yata ni Kris na di nya talaga mahal si Mark, sayang bagay pa naman sila. Kala ko magkakatuluyan na.

Barbero 1: Buti nga nagkaganun...sa akin di ako boto, tahimik si Mark, mabunganga si Kris. Ok lang yun.

Barbero 2: Bahala ka, basta ako...Kris Mark L...maski ano mangyari!

Barbero 1: Buti pa si Alma...ok na lovelife, live-in na ata dun sa batang boypren...kabwenas talaga

blah....blah....blah

- - - - - -

Di na ako nakining sa usapan ng dalawa...napunta pa sa usapang Alma Moreno at pati si Dugong napasama. Langya, walang kwentang usapan, baduy, korny, basyo, walang substansya...kaya naisip-isip ko, kaya di tayo umasenso...puro kayo tsimis at showbiz pa! Pati bunso ko, parang namamangha sa usapan ng dalawa. Pakings**t!

I've read about an article in some news about the "Sickness in Philippine TV"... "programming centers on a daily menu of situation comedy (sitcoms) and variety shows that suffer from extreme vulgarity, profanity, inanity, and lack of moral values. Screaming faggots (or transvestites), and ill-educated entertainers dominate these shows, as if to showcase that the country has gone to the dogs. Gossip, that concerns private lives of the famous and not so famous is the norm".

"Even serious drama shows are not spared from this malaise. It is common to see them portraying the lives of show biz figures as if they have run out of topics. Homosexuals, who take pride in admitting they have live-in partners, host talk shows. Local telenovelas show violent scenes and scheming characters; imported ones are mostly unfit for Filipinos. Showing ignorance, the scheming villainess in the teleserye is named Dugong, a gentle and lovable sea mammal. The two networks have no decent sport shows, but they have plenty of suffocating show biz talk shows mostly during prime time."

Yes...in my opinion, local tv's have gone down to a level wherein values were not taken into consideration anymore. Our children must be guided which shows they have to watch and as much as possible kept away with unrelevant shows that promote "idiot-ization, moronization, and faggotization" to Filipino viewers, especially the children.

Mahirap na...baka lumaking barbero mga anak ko....

Cool Set

2004-08-09T19:12:00.000+08:00

At last, I got my Kiss Symphony dvd which I had been wanting for a long time. I had a chance to pass by a music store at a mall yesterday and found myself peeking at the 2-cd set, man I just couldn't resist the urge...I have to buy it. So I did, though a little bit costly, but it's worthy. Another addition to my dvd metal concert collection. Kiss was one of my influences...in fact, my first album during my teens (2nd year in high school) was the "Kiss Alive II" which my dad gave as a gift. From then on heavy metal was in me.

The 3-hour documentary/symphonic concert was really cool...held in Melbourne, Australia with the Melbourne Symphony Ensemble. The full concert was subdivided into 3 acts, with act 1 as a 4-member playing their classics stripped to the bone. Act 2 was different giving an acoustic treatment with a 12-piece string section. And finally, act 3 which really rocks (the Beast, Starchild, the Cat & Spaceman) each giving their piece of the classics. I love the "Shandi" song from the Unmasked album (i actually had this album when i was in 1st year college...great!).

Yap, another blast from one of the hottest band in the world. A kick ass!

Finally, Work's Done (whew!)

2004-08-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

Finally, my babies, the industrial PCs and servers are in tip-top condition. Each one were opened up for revitalization after a year of non-stop usage...cleaned the internals as well as purged the operating systems (OVMS for the Digital PCs & Windows Server 2000 for the Compaq servers as well). Applications were debugged, after which a complete database backups were done (hmmm..a nice spa for the computers).

Finally, after months of planning, preparation, configurations & interfacing, the new 490-kw drive for the kiln (frequency inverter + power transformer + motor) had been commissioned. Results were execellent and hopefully, will offer us a headache-free years of operation. Tomorrow, sunday morning, operation will be restarted...that means, still have to work til sunday (ahhh...gotta have my vacation after this, I'm really worn-out).

Of course, "the after", all the hard days' work...back to the real world:

It's now time for some bottles of beer, dudes!

Stupid Me

2004-08-03T18:49:00.000+08:00

One more day and the company's safety benchmark of 600th day non-lost time accident (accident-free) is achieved. We are now on the 599th day, first class achievement and each one will then be receiving a modest incentive (cash+gift).

This morning, as i usually do, did a toolbox safety meeting to remind each in my department to be very cautious with their safety, assess risks at workplaces and never turn a blind eye on any safety issue. Everybody were cheerful about the safety record news and as promised, a luscious lechon will be laid on the table.

After some pleasant discussions with my men, i went straight to the field to carry out early rounds... had to go down the stairs to check the newly-installed 490kw motor due for commissioning, then blag!....ouchhhhh, that hurts. I 've just rolled down the steel stairs, 6-steps high (been wet and slippery on last night's heavy rain). What a shame, got some bruises on both arms, now my body hurts, damn! Stupid-me talking about taking care on safety and here i am in pain...shame, shame, shame.

After that incident, I just stayed on my office the whole day, never attempted to even go out 'til its knock-off time...delikado, baka malas 'tong araw na 'to (superstition rules!).

Just remebered the same incident when i was in college (Baguio). A storm was up, really heavy rain, so automaticaly no classes. Everyone was deep bored in the boarding house so it was decided that we all see a movie (palipas-oras), man, each one enjoyed the movie. We were giggling with delight as we were going out of the moviehouse, then blag!...ouchhhhh, that hurts. Everyone from the lobby were laughing and clapping as they watch me roll down the wet stairs (could be a 15-step high). What do ya know...the movie we've just watch then was "Breakdance". Damn!

The Iraq Orientation

2004-08-02T09:47:00.000+08:00

The picture tells the story:

Very strategic! No wonder, Iraq is in deep shit....

2004-08-01T19:35:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Proposed Header

2004-07-29T22:14:00.000+08:00

I had been working on my (personal) blogspot layout for three weeks now. Di ako nasisisyahan sa itsura nito ngayun..."baduy" When I look at other's spot, man, they're awesome (kilcher, dizzy, ironwulf, dude...etc, apologies dun sa di ko na nabanggit)...very professional. Pero ngayun lang ako natototo ng HTML tags, I had to read, make some experiments, tests, costumize it to what I really like. Hirap din pala but it is really fun (I don't do this stuff, ngayun lang, what I do is industrial programming that automates an operational plant).

I just finished a graphic that I plan to use as my blog header (ninakaw ko lang kasi yung ginagamit ko ngayun, apologies na lang dun sa me ari...another blogger). I've used the Adobe Photoshop, hirap din...kailangan pag-aralan mo rin to. But anyway, natapos ko rin..simple pero sa palagay ko ok na rin.

My future head:

Tomorrow night, I'll be starting to work on my blog template, tiyagain ko hanggang matapos...hope it'll come out right.

Passion for Work

2004-07-29T19:50:00.000+08:00

Almost a week from my last post....

This is the 4th day of a two-week shutdown of our plant and it would be the busiest weeks of our entire year. I am a maintenance guy (automation) and have to ensure that the systems' integrity should always be in placed. That means, total maintenance of the plant...total maintenance of the the system under my responsibility, all from hardware to software. Everyone has to do his share, his obligations, it is a division of labor.

Today.....I had made a shutdown to all system computers (PCs that automates the whole plant operation) since we had to cut the main power. We had replaced the all power cables (4160KV) that give us headaches due to its obsolesence...project cost is Php 13 M (would you believe that?). After restoration of the main power, I had to reboot the system but one server showed some problems, it won't boot (how could that be...it was shut-down properly?). So, the server had to be opened and after 4-long hours of tweaks, it came out that the culprit was the server's motherboard. I had to replace it (from a spare unit) but would you imagine, the spare motherboard's cost was 800 thou (damn, ano yun, ginto?). Yeah, it is not an ordinary piece (industrial server is a Vax800/60 from Digital Equipment, US made). These servers run 24 hours a day for 12 months, only once a year these are shut-down for maintenance, system files are checked for integrity, databases are purged and regenerated. But anyway, problem was solved, no questions asked.

Tomorrow....we will be commissioning our newly installed ABB Frequency Drive (+power transformer + 490 KW-motor) for the plant's kiln (a large heated chamber for calcining limestone). Would you imagine again...project cost is Php 11M...damn, the company has a lot money. "bagong sakit ng ulo na naman tong bagong instilasyon na 'to. Pag-aaralan mo, patatakbuhin mo, then i-maintain mo". Hay, nakakapagod na rin kung minsan!

On the bright side, it shows that the plant is growing (as evident on the plant's reliability=98%, man, that is an excellent record). People who work on this company really learned how to pay heed of the organization's objectives and aspirations, motivation is apparent...and that should be the right attitude of each. Passion for our work should not languish, instead amplify as time goes.

The Poem You'll Hate to Hear

2004-07-23T10:16:00.000+08:00

I got nothing in mind now, but I'd like to write anyway. Last night before I went to sleep, I was thinking of so many things, yeah...simple things just to get my sleep (I just had finished viewing HBO's "Intersection" with Richard Gere and Sharon Stone...but hell, I missed the point, didn't understood the thought...could it be that i'm getting dumber?...nah, I guess the movie sucks!). So I was reflecting about my friends back in school (I was in fact a Louisian, from St. Louis Univ in Baguio), our escapades, our lunacies back then (hey, isn't lunacy a grand thing?), and my pet teacher, yes...I did have some pets, too. She was a miss then, a lovely lady and she was my Basic Computer teacher. I couldn't remember her name anymore (yeah, that was way, way back then, so you'll have some idea what my age is) but what I recall is that I really love her class, computer design & programming were my pet subjects...very interesting.

One of the first lessons there was to enhance your typing skills...get familiar with the keys. She had given us a poem that we have to retype-in over and over until we have to punch in without looking at the notes. The poem (a simple one) really stucked in my head that until now, for so many years, I still can recite.

It is a contradicting poem, funny i guess, and it's been around since at least 1940, and is clearly still being passed along. Maybe I could share it with you:

A Contradicting Poem

The famous speaker who no one had heard of said:

Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,

cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,

I stand before you to sit behind you

to tell you something I know nothing about.

Next Thursday, which is a Good Friday,

there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;

wear your best clothes if you haven't any.

Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.

Admission is free, pay at the door;

Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

It makes no difference where you sit,

the man in the gallery's sure to spit.

The show is over, but before you go,

let me tell you a story I don't really know.

"One bright day in the middle of the night,

two dead men got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

he came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man, he saw it, too.

A paralysed donkey passing by

kicked the blind man in the eye;

knocked him through a nine-inch wall,

into a dry ditch and drowned them all".

Ok...hope I didn't bore you. Next time, I'll think of something more meaty, substantive....more interesting.

A Journey Back Home

2004-07-21T11:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I felt the whole country was rejoicing. All were in jubilation about the news that his abductors back in Iraq had released our own Angelo dela Cruz. It was very dramatic and moving at that moment, seeing people jumping with joy, sighing with relief, smiling with gratitude. All the prayers of each Filipinos were answered and I, myself was in euphoria.

I was watching the early news and was a bit teary-eyed when Angelo was speaking with his wife and children. The emotions were overflowing in them I can’t help myself to be emotional too. At that moment, I remember the feeling my family and me suffered when my Dad got sick. One day, he was rushed to a nearby hospital, he passed out while on an FX taxi after a few run around in a nearby mall. He was diagnosed to be having a heart aliment and had to be transferred to Philippine Heart center for an immediate check-up.

We we’re privately advised by the specialist to organize blood donors whichever we can and he will be performing a very critical operation. My dad was suspected to have a rare heart ailment, aneurysm, a dilatation of a blood vessel caused by a disease or weakening of the vessel's wall. The worse part is, it is located at the main artery and it would be very, very risky…would you imagine, we were advised to pray hard and hope. At that moment, we were numb, speechless. We were crying and praying so hard, wishing for miracles. Or hearts felt so heavy.

Before an operation is conducted, a patient should again undergo some series of examinations and diagnosis, so my father went all through that. Then came the final result, it was negative, heart ailment is clear, previous diagnosis was wrong. I cried, really cried privately thanking the Lord how grateful I was. My mother, after weeks of worries and weariness brighten up suddenly…. we were all rejoicing. My wife, who had work so hard, going to and pro at the hospital organizing things was in big relief, my brother and sisters were all smiles. Indeed, it was a blessing from God, a miracle unexpected.

My dad is back, healthy as a horse. Though it was a horrible instance of our lives, we’ve learned too many. To be thankful for the health we have, to be thankful to friends who will always help even on the distress, to be thankful to our families who support us during our needs, and to be thankful to our Lord, who doesn't forsake us and carries us even during our lowest moment of our lives. God is so great.

Yeah, I feel how the children of Angelo dela Cruz are feeling right now, and I feel how joyful Angelo is looking forward for his journey back home.

God speed!

Sunday Affair

2004-07-18T11:00:00.000+08:00

It is another Sunday.......Lord I wouldn't ask for more. The feeling of content has always been there (no conflicts with the previous posts....ok?). What still could you ask for.......the sun is up, radiating with vigor and ascendance. My children happily watches the Cartoon Network, and me?......ah, sitting on my favorite chair listening to some really heavy stuff I really love. Some people say it's crap, noise pollution, loud........but I say, they're just one of those angel's voices travelling at the speed of sound.......lovely!

Care to have a look at what I am listening at this moment? Ok.....this is a bit of a long list, bear with me dudes.

Angel Dust - Black Rain Lacuna Coil - My Wings
Angel Dust - The Human Bondage Jester's Moon - Devil's Eyes
Another Life - Concealed by Fright Kreator - When The Sun Burns Red
Another Life - Cotton Pines Lefay - What Dreams Forebode
Another Life - Reflections Lizzy Borden - Master Of Disguise
Armored Saint - Unstable Lizzy Borden - American Metal
Astral Doors - Cloudbreaker Lizzy Borden - Me Against The World
At Vance - Princess of the Night Plutonium Orange - Killer By The Road
Avantasia - Chalice of Agony Stratovarius - Eagleheart
Beyond Surface - Destinations End Stratovarius - I'm Still Alive
Cage - Kill The Devil Alabama Thunderpussy - Motoready
Cans - Fields Of Yesterday Blind Guardian - Battlefield
Black Label Society - Counterfeit God Fates Warning - One
Debase - Restrained Megadeth - Good Mourning Black Friday
Downfall - Glorious Megadeth - Sweating Bullets
DragonForce - My Spirit Will Go On Metal Church - Into Dust
Dream Evil - Children of the Night Nevermore - Dead River Dragon
Dream Evil - The Prophecy Steel Prophet - Among The Damned
Dyecrest - For All The Weak Raven - Seven Shades
Elegy - Force Majeure Amorphis - Alone
Enchant - Sinking Sand Ark - Burn the Sun
Gamma Ray - Heaven Can Wait Chinchilla - Demons We Call
Gamma Ray - The Heart Of The Unicorn Circle II Circle - Into the Wind
Gamma Ray - Tribute To The Past Iced Earth - Burning Time
Heavenly - The World Will Be Better Iced Earth - Dracula
Heavenly - Time Machine Warmachine - Beginning of the End
Iron Fire - Rise Of The Rainbow Halford - Deep in the Ground
Iron Fire - Until The End Savatage - 24 Hours Ago
Iron Fire - When The Heroes Fall Savatage - Jesus Saves
Iron Savior - Never Say Die Grim Reaper - See You in Hell
Iron Savior - Time Will Tell Brainstorm - Highs Without Lows
Iron Savior - Titans Of Our Time Nocturna Rites - The Iron Force

Part of those that I love........

Later, I have to clean my guitar.....it's been up the wall for quite sometime and really needs some attention.....have to make the woods speck and span, oil the gears and replace the old string, I got some brand new set I bought at a music store in SM three weeks ago. "D' Addario strings". A bit of a costly set but sure it is of good quality.
Have to go for now.....I'll just make some little tweaks on my good old car, let's see what we can do. Keep on rockin', metal rules!

Shit Happens

2004-07-14T12:49:00.001+08:00

My, what a lucky day! And why if someone may ask? A lot of things had gone wrong in my plant's operation this day (I am an electrical guy...who do electrical stuff.....and fix electrical shit) and I am really, really depleted. I work on a cement plant and it operates 24 hours a day, even on holidays like Christmas and Holy Week. Operation has to be restored immediately after a breakdown or else, the company would incur some great losses. Yeah, this plant had been our second home, a second wife.....and we've learned to live with it, and learned to love it. Hey, this is our bread & butter.....

Much about that, so last night I was called at my house that a help was needed in the plant to assist some electrical trouble...the liquid starter for the Sepol Fan was abnormally hot. We had to cool it down to restart its operation. But eventually, after it has cool down, then came this error on the restarting, no feedback signal was coming and it might boil the starter again...shit, what is this crap? Yeah...tweaks here and tweaks there, until it was noticed that the auxillary contact lever of the fan's switchgear is broken. That's it......everything was done, restored and so.....we're back to normal.

This morning, still stuck in my bed....the phone rang, and on the other end was telling me....."come here dude, something's waiting for you and come here fast and I mean really fast, the computers are on the drain again". There was a communication timeout between the digital control of the plant and one of its subsystem.......a network error. I had to rush and think what was going on and what could have been wrong. After some time of exerting some brain drains, all's well.....back to normal. The boys are happy and the bosses are happy....the operation is restored, whew.......

Now I was asking my men, "who the hell is the "cursed" around here, and who could have fooled around with a hooker last night? (of course that was only a joke..........shit happens). Yeah, we're lucky.

The Culprit:

PS....(5:00 PM)

My wife called....our 5-year old son, Angelo was bitten by a loose dog from the neighborhood. Man, I had to rush home, drive my son to a nearby hospital for some medications......dog bites shouldn't be neglected. Thrice, I was also a victim of dog bites & had to undergo 25 + 25 + 6, 56 shots to sum it all (awww...that's hurts). Going back to my son, well....he was jerking too much during the first injection (anti-tetanus) then after a while, the second shot. What a pity. Tomorrow, he has to absent himself from school for the first of five anti-rabbies shot..... lol! Man, was I very mad upon learning the news, why him of all people....damn that dog!

Moral lesson.....never trust a dog.....any dog. They bark hard and they bite hard. Tell me, are they still man's best friend? I don't think so, they're not that friendly afterall. They still got those beast/killer instincts within, waiting to be unleashed, a dog is still a dog no matter what, I tell you.

Dudes, better have a pet fish (mind you, not a shark...but a joker fish....like "Nemo").
"Ah, please Lord....give me a good day tommorow. No worries, no inhibitions, no bickerings, no deep shit....just peace of mind I ask You"!

Monday Sickness

2004-07-12T16:00:00.000+08:00

Oh, man....This has been a another lazy day for me. Not because I just sit around waiting for the end of work hours, but this day is just a one of those perpetual days of bore, oh boy. But hey, I had some works done unnoticed by time....I had finished encoding my Root Cause Analysis procedure (which I champion....Which means I lead, not because I am an expert) which I had been working for the last two days, gave it to the ISO custodian, my kumpare, for the review.

I also had a talk with my Scottish boss, Bill, about the reliability automation of all the plant's Gas analyzer system, which unfortunately after so many years, I still have the heck of responsibility on these analyzer operations. But anyway, had conviced Bill on my plans and he was happy about it.

I have to go home early today, maybe around 5:00 PM. I have to sleep, I haven't had enough yesterday.....I had this hangover last night (I had a couple of beers on a...would you imagine, a cheap Videoke Bar somewhere here in Antipolo). We were supposed to have a little disco dancing last Saturday night with my family and some friends but I together with two of my friends were barred from the Disco House....man, just because we were in sandals. Pambihira talaga yung guard na yun, kainis. But mind you, my sandal pair is worth 3+ grans (modesty aside...Birkenstock ata yun) and they won't let me in......only shoes allowed....Shit!

Yeah, but anyway.....maybe next time.

My Start!

2004-07-11T13:08:00.000+08:00

It is a lazy Sunday, July 11, 2004. Just browsing around the internet when I came across the Blogger....thought about it for a second and said "Hmmmm....why not?". So here it goes....."Edge of the World", my blogger!

Take me to the Edge of the World
Apologies to Masankho Kamsisi Banda

I have seen enough
my tears flow no longer
the pain in my heart
take me to the edge
let me look for peace
i don't know where to start
my eyes tell the whole story

I have heard enough
my thoughts are scrambled
take me to the edge
let me hear some comfort
somewhere it can be found
my ears hear the story

Can I say enough
what is left to say
take me to the edge of the world
there, I will find my way!